By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 18:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 692
You deserved it 3 407
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

PenguinBitch 43

Shoot him in his steroid-shrunken balls.

153 3
jkmartinjk 16

That was an EXTREME amount of adjectives.

91 1

Comments

Anubis_81 21

That shit isn't cool hey. Fucknut sounds like a good adjective for this guy.

5 1
Psychs7 11

You have a gun, he has muscles, guns were invented to win that match up. Normally there would be the fool notion of the morality in killing him for breaking your shoulder, however you're in luck. Paintball guns are mostly non-lethal, empty clip, load gun, empty clip, repeat. I'm gonna YDI for the simple fact that your lack of retaliation will bother you for the rest of your life.

5 17
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

You're a cretin, what part of "broken shoulder" didn't you understand? Do you realise how in absolute agony OP must have been? Plus he is better off suing that childish brute for assault. Intelligence vs Muscles.

3 0
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

You're a cretin. What part of "broken shoulder" didn't you understand? Do you realize in how much agony OP must have been? Even then, what's the point of assaulting back an asshole who thinks it's fair to brutally attack people his son's age to win a game? OP is better off suing his ass. Intelligence vs muscles.

0 0
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

#34 You're a cretin. What part of "broken shoulder" didn't you understand? Do you realize in how much agony OP must have been? Even then, what's the point of assaulting back an asshole who thinks it's fair to brutally attack people his son's age to win a game? OP is better off suing his ass. Intelligence vs muscles.

0 0
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

You're a cretin. What part of "broken shoulder" didn't you understand? Do you realize in how much agony OP must have been? Even then, what's the point of assaulting back an asshole who thinks it's fair to brutally attack people his son's age to win a game? OP is better off suing his ass. Intelligence vs muscles.

0 0
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

You're a cretin. What part of "broken shoulder" didn't you understand? Do you realize in how much agony OP must have been? Even then, what's the point of assaulting back an asshole who thinks it's fair to brutally attack people his son's age to win a game? OP is better off suing his ass for the medical expenses. Intelligence vs muscles.

1 0
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

#34 You're a cretin. What part of "broken shoulder" didn't you understand? Do you realize in how much agony OP must have been? Even then, what's the point of assaulting back an asshole who thinks it's fair to brutally tackle people his son's age to win a game? OP is better off suing his ass for medical expenses. Intelligence vs muscles.

0 0
Psychs7 11

Oh please, I'm a cretin? Your the one yelling "lawsuit lawsuit!!!!!" it's pathetic and you should be ashamed of yourself. At least file criminal charges instead of trying to squeeze money out of the guy, like everyone else and their dog. Also a broken shoulder is no excuse for not firing a gun into a large target at close range, it only takes one hand and the sheer adrenaline will have helped mitigate the pain until later, anyone who has ever been seriously injured would know that. I've broken my nose, toe, clavicle, ribs and neck (a hairline fracture since I'm not dead or paralyzed) as well as dislocating various bones and ripping of my own toenail without anesthetic and the only time I couldn't move after was the neck thing. And none of that changes the fact that OP will always remember the story and feel angry and ashamed that he did nothing, we've all been there, we all have a story in which we failed to retaliate and it haunts us, and i feel sorry for him for that.

1 0
Psychs7 11

And one more thing, check the god damn address. The guy is British, like me, and in our culture we have something called free health care, we don't however have frivolous lawsuits. So chanting "sue him sue him medical bills are expensive" is not only pathetic it's retarded.

0 0
jpparkenbone 1

You are a moron and a jerk. I pray to god that you never procreate. Also, I think it's worth noting that I so desperately want you not to procreate that I'm praying as an atheist.

0 0
Psychs7 11

No #112 you are a moron and a jerk and evidently a wimp as well. And you can't be praying as an atheist because in order to pray there needs to be something receiving the prayer, what you are is an indecisive dickwaffle.

0 0
sirjuice35 11

lol some people take paintball waaaay too seriously

7 0
coalbert 4

From one paintballer to another you should have double taped his ass before he had a chance to get to you

1 7
EvaWarrior 8

considering the description OP gave us of the father, I doubt that would of stopped him

3 0
junkman6 22

He got owned IRL(and probably laughed at) so he came online for sympathy! Lol

0 5
Dracospinks 5

I don't think I've ever read such a vivid FML.

8 0
jem970 19

If that had been me I would have switched my gun over to the other shoulder and lit his ass up! That was beyond uncalled for and you should file battery charges against this guy. Also, I like the term "fucknut." I will use this.

7 1
obviousboy 8

I feel like if he lifts weights, he isn't a wanna be alpha male.

4 7
Enslaved 36

How cool would it be to own a wallet that said "Bad ************" like in "Pulp Fiction"? Hopefully if lost-- it'll get returned.

8 4