Health: Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family...

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 234

You deserved it 3 514

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Same thing different taste

By fuck - 21/04/2012 02:48 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 921

You deserved it 4 078

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 661

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 905

You deserved it 56 262

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 18:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 694

You deserved it 3 407

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 082

You deserved it 6 013

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 794

You deserved it 25 010

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 026

You deserved it 4 390

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 695

You deserved it 54 447

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 568

You deserved it 4 004

Sorry, I…

By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 880

You deserved it 41 901

tstew97 4

Saturday 22 March 2014 5:05

Way too easy of a joke sitting there.

KVKdragon 26

Saturday 22 March 2014 5:09

Even if the dad has a problem with their consensual sex, it is not within his rights to take it out on anyone either way. That's just projecting your anger over someone else's choices simply because you disagree with it. Not cool -_-

Comments

revelation11B 10

Saturday 22 March 2014 16:33

From the name used to publish this, it sounds like OP slept with his brothers girlfriend. That being said, he deserves it. Should have been shot in his paintballs rather than the back.

tymarie2012 31

Saturday 22 March 2014 19:52

Or the protection for the paintballs wasn't enough.

jakerrrbaker 8

Saturday 22 March 2014 18:20

Bet he turned up the velocity too... ouch

callmeave 10

Saturday 22 March 2014 19:29

Amazing word usage.

TheAngryPrincess 3

Saturday 22 March 2014 21:07

He 'unloaded' into you? Your ass should be sore.

flashback_fml 14

Saturday 22 March 2014 21:58

That just sounds so wrong, why on earth would you word an fml that way.

iamthunder 4

Saturday 22 March 2014 22:09

Or maybe he knows the truth that you and your "brother's girlfriend" have been keeping!

TcheQ 12

Monday 24 March 2014 3:20

Lol, love the name. Also it helps when you don't come : P

Bcfrmkc816 17

Monday 24 March 2014 14:13

Well gotta ask did he use lube?

Ryodin 11

Monday 24 March 2014 14:40

Never forgive the asshole and don't hold back making it obvious. It was childish for him to do to your brother in the first place and he didn't even get that much right.