Miscellaneous: Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my...

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By Anonymous - 04/09/2012 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 481

You deserved it 4 443

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Same thing different taste

And I oop

By not drunk - 21/07/2020 08:01

Today, I was at a restaurant. I turned around looking for the restroom. I almost walked into the men’s room, then corrected myself and stumbled in the hallway looking for the ladies’. The employees thought I was drunk and kicked me out. I hadn’t had a single drink. I’m just clumsy as shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 267

Adding insult to injury

By Username - 10/02/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 446

You deserved it 4 072

By itstillhurts - 21/12/2009 04:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 573

You deserved it 35 769

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 572

You deserved it 11 423

Perfect performance

By I hate myself - 02/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a café for the first time, and as I opened the door, I slammed it into the face of a poor barista. Embarrassed, I tried to apologize while holding the door open for a woman behind me, only to have my hand slip and the door crash into her as well. I then stood there, frozen, as both of them just stared at me as I apologized with, "I swear I'm not a moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 107

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 710

You deserved it 13 788

By Anonymous - 21/05/2011 14:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 472

You deserved it 7 814

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 321

You deserved it 1 904

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 635

You deserved it 34 453

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 682

You deserved it 8 849

saIty 17

Tuesday 4 September 2012 12:02

Wow. I guess the Windex cleaner does make people walk into clear doors.

funnynesh 10

Tuesday 4 September 2012 12:01

Well, maybe you were just never supposed to drink today...

Comments

acetheone 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 14:47

it's a sign op, stay away from bars.lol. fyl

callous 2

Tuesday 4 September 2012 15:53

Oh hi, I must be the resident idiot.

Szaszaspasz 26

Tuesday 4 September 2012 16:34

I've fallen up a set of stairs. I was sober and at work. I feel your pain.

captainburke 5

Tuesday 4 September 2012 16:42

That's embarrassing but fuckit go to another bar

Eternal94 10

Tuesday 4 September 2012 16:57

After reading this, it remain me this happened to me on my first day in US.....

loserboii 11

Tuesday 4 September 2012 16:59

That is possible sober! Those things are so damn clear

kimg0885 23

Tuesday 4 September 2012 17:03

They should put stickers on the glass so people won't run into it, or stop cleaning it.

Sharkiestd101 7

Tuesday 4 September 2012 19:00

haha that happens to everyone. Sucky bartender.

Tidus0 17

Tuesday 4 September 2012 19:48

That's ok now take them to court. It's negligence on their behalf and if you weren't sober that is a likely accident which could have been severe if drunk.