Kids: Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 14:35 - Taiwan

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 469

You deserved it 4 546

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Same thing different taste

By McMuffin - 26/05/2017 14:00

Today, my 3-year-old daughter ran with arms wide open towards me, smiling, only to pass me by and hug the gardener instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 265

You deserved it 565

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 135

By Herdad - 30/07/2009 11:34 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 049

You deserved it 3 694

The worst

By mommylovesu - 15/03/2011 02:25 - United States

Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there, she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 172

You deserved it 43 777

Bad boy

By tatortot7707 - 13/01/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 012

You deserved it 3 817

By divorced - 07/03/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 119

You deserved it 10 449

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 5 759

By notapedobear - 13/01/2011 08:21

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 258

You deserved it 3 287

Daddy's girl

By TooMuchForToLittle - 06/09/2021 11:00

Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 200

By gloomy - 15/08/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 807

You deserved it 828

Next

Top comments

DahkLohd 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 18:57

Is your face as scary as mine?

perdix 29

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:09

They probably taught the kids about pedophiles and your little game is up.

Comments

eskimomarvin 8

Thursday 16 December 2010 18:56

lol that sucks

Marvin_Android 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 20:57

Sounds nightmarish. Trying to form a bond with your offspring is pointless anyway. In a few short years, she will want to be off on her own and run away just as fiercely. The fact that she hates and fears you already should make it easier on you in the long-run; no sudden shock when she goes from lovey-dovey to rebellious and hateful. At least now you won't waste your efforts. Too bad you'll still suffer through a miserable existence. Life. Don't talk to me about life.

Jaguars25 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 23:02

Oh Marvin. I enjoy reading what you write. it's terrible of me to take pleasure in your woe, but I always look forward to your contributions. (Have you read Warbot in Accounting? Reminds me of you.) Re. FML: Maybe the giant fur coat did the trick? Poor you!

fakeaccountX 6

Friday 17 December 2010 0:40

it's going to be a long 18 years

atlanta_lex 0

Friday 7 October 2011 1:51

I doubt it's THAT serious.

DahkLohd 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 18:57

Is your face as scary as mine?

Selena_is_back 7

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:09

you're not scary... ;D I find you attractive... Rawr!

DahkLohd 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:46

Thanks, but I wouldn't want to "Julian Assange" you. Hit me up in a year and a half. :)

Selena_is_back 7

Thursday 16 December 2010 20:12

I can wait... *evil laugh*

zazooftanzania 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 23:50

haha good one

millionaire93 0

Saturday 18 December 2010 4:11

ahaha. that's funny.

cono1717 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:01

STRANGER DANGER!!

kubleeka 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 23:25

mom is a stranger now, is she?

macskapingvin 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:05

Maybe she can't tell the difference between your 'I'm going to hug you' face and your 'I'm a big scary giant I'm going to chase you' face.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:06

Maybe you shouldn't have dressed up like Jason Voorhies, dumbass. You should have learned your lesson from the Halloween Freddy Krueger incident. Some people...

CoolAsian 0

Friday 17 December 2010 0:47

Voorhees dumbass

MEM0817 18

Friday 17 December 2010 8:20

CoolAsian I'm sure you didn't even know the correct spelling until you googled it.

DakotaCat 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:06

Don't wear a Noseybonk mask if you're gunna pick up your kid from preschool.

perdix 29

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:09

They probably taught the kids about pedophiles and your little game is up.

DncrHap 9

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:13

stranger danger! pedobear wants you to try harder.

MfailK 0

Friday 17 December 2010 13:35

you are so pretty.

Korro 8

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:15

are you sure that was your daughter?

veebs 0

Friday 17 December 2010 6:07

HAHA FUNNY(:

dirtyhose 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:23

st0p beating you're kid and this w0nt happen duh

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 341

You deserved it 3 784

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 565

You deserved it 3 876

Today, I am 7 weeks pregnant and dealing with severe morning sickness. Not to worry though, it should get better at 14 weeks, right after I get back from my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 689

Today, I saw a bird almost get run over in the middle of the road, so I stopped the traffic to go rescue it. It was an Adidas slide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 799

Today, I got a letter from the IRS informing me that I owed a debt of $80 dollars from 4 years ago, and that it has now grown to over $800 dollars, and it's due this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 264

Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 984

You deserved it 7 779

Today, my cats found my box of condoms. This is the third one they've chewed up. The worst part? They've gotten more use out of them in the last two months than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 721

You deserved it 7 349