Holidays and Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up duct-taped to the toilet in nothing but a straitjacket....

By Anonymous - 01/11/2017 20:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I woke up duct-taped to the toilet in nothing but a straitjacket. I don't remember what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 472

You deserved it 2 042

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Top comments

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 1 November 2017 21:30

Why do you or your friends have a straightjacket in the first place?

exileonmainst 16

Wednesday 1 November 2017 21:13

Well, look at the bright side, at least you didn’t have to listen to christmas music in ******* November.

Comments

OnReceivingEnd 17

Friday 3 November 2017 12:09

It's time to stop drinking so much alcohol.

jofukurself 8

Sunday 5 November 2017 7:27

College... Am I right?

Thundernutz 15

Monday 6 November 2017 6:51

Sounds like u had a blast lol

Thundernutz 15

Monday 6 November 2017 6:53

Sounds similar to a college friend of mine who blacked out for 2 days then woke up in his bed no pants/underwear on next to a gay guy xD; Who is now infatuated with him lol

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

The Top

Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 695

You deserved it 3 608

Today, I asked my mom if she'd seen my financial calculator on my way out to an exam. She told me she'd tossed it in the donation pile that she'd taken to the Salvation Army this morning because it was "clutter." I needed it to take an exam required to pass the class, to graduate next month. The only place to buy a replacement was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 535

You deserved it 228

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 455

You deserved it 34 868

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 122

Today, I eagerly applied for a high-salary, fully supportive graduate program that I qualified for. There were 5 steps in the application process. I was turned down after the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 796

You deserved it 890

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 833

You deserved it 29 770