Love: Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but in fact, it wasn’t...

Why is this an FML? Like, were you not aware you were in Germany beforehand? Did you get hit by a rogue sausage? Right now it just sounds like you saw two coworkers screwing around in a way that didn't affect you.

SpectralTrix 7

Friday 29 April 2016 21:53

What type of sausage tho

meganleen 3

Tuesday 24 May 2016 5:30

you're a scum bag

SOILEDIT 51

Thursday 16 June 2016 17:52

Well, at least it wasn't an animal. No, you deserve it to be an animal.

KrazyKatz3 26

Tuesday 1 August 2017 2:03

You deserve it for being ambiguous. What happened. Give us the deets

Keywords

Food Toxic Family Miscellaneous Gross Love Health Valentine's Day Homeowners Home improvement Kids Awkward Drugs Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Animals Cats Work Coworkers Transportation Airplanes Embarrassing Sleep Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 178

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 160

You deserved it 1 868

The Top

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends, and now it's all over Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 795

You deserved it 4 286

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 561

You deserved it 3 565

Today, I'd planned a surprise party for my best friend's birthday. However, she apparently found out about it and told me at the last minute she couldn't make it, probably to avoid being the center of attention. I'd already invited all of our mutual friends, so I had to awkwardly cancel the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 544

Today, I found out my parents truly believe that Donald Trump will return to power in August. They also believed it was going to happen in March. It's like living in a death cult. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 301

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 533

You deserved it 3 848

Today, my hormones decided to make my pimples appear symmetrically on my face around my nose and mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 705

You deserved it 2 959