Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could...

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 02:46 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 664

You deserved it 35 701

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Same thing different taste

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 537

You deserved it 6 608

By Anonymous - 05/12/2018 13:30

Today, I woke up to the fire department at my house. Why? My brother called 911 thinking there was a fire after turning the heat on for the first time all winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 436

You deserved it 143

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 963

Ventilation

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 18:00 - United States - Victorville

Today, I woke up at 4 a.m. to the smell of something burning. My husband and I checked the house, and I was convinced there was possibly an electric fire. Went back to bed, then when I woke again I remembered I'd straightened my hair the day before and that’s what the burnt smell was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 726

Oh nose!

By Fried. - 14/05/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 134

Stealth mode

By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 631

You deserved it 48 170

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 963

You deserved it 3 200

Our house, was a very very very nice house

By Anonymous - 06/03/2020 18:00

Today, my house caught on fire. After it was put out, I realized the damage wasn't bad, mainly smoke damage. I went to my parents' for the night because my house smelled. While there, I received a phone call from my neighbor. Apparently, my house caught fire again. It's now a pile of ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 283

You deserved it 259

By Muffinhater - 24/12/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 350

You deserved it 2 434

No smoke, no fire

By justme - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 958

You deserved it 5 263

PantyGAMES 10

Wednesday 26 December 2012 8:11

Waking up to ambiance? Seems more like you were shooting for ambulance.

shayshayshazam 14

Wednesday 26 December 2012 8:10

That's so dumb it's almost impressive. Merry Christmas though!

Comments

destroyu 8

Wednesday 26 December 2012 8:27

Terrible

oj101 33

Wednesday 26 December 2012 8:31

At least you got to open your presents early. Merry Christmas to you all!

chucktaylor5 2

Wednesday 26 December 2012 8:32

it wouldve been better if u wouldve stomped on ur tv to try to put out the fire

howdeedoo 22

Wednesday 26 December 2012 8:37

No, that would have been stupid

robo_thunder 13

Wednesday 26 December 2012 8:50

Stupidity is partly what makes this site so great though isn't it?

80skid 15

Wednesday 26 December 2012 8:36

Definition of irony.

LaidToRest48 9

Wednesday 26 December 2012 9:37

80skid 15

Wednesday 26 December 2012 20:29

Actually, it is. When you do something to bring peace to yourself ahead of time&it ends up causing you harm, that's ironic.

nycwrestler 17

Thursday 27 December 2012 22:03

Still, no

buckdharma 37

Wednesday 26 December 2012 8:42

This is a very pleasant experience but to be on the safe side make sure you watch the CSL Creosote Sweeping Log commercial.

CharresBarkrey 15

Wednesday 26 December 2012 8:46

I'm liking your comments more and more. Our type of humor is a dying one, I'm afraid.

FameNFortune 12

Wednesday 26 December 2012 9:22

Seems legit .

bootyful86 7

Wednesday 26 December 2012 9:25

There's a fireplace channel?

CherryOnTop222 7

Wednesday 26 December 2012 9:48

THERE IS A FIREPLACE CHANNEL!?!!?

chocolateisyum 12

Wednesday 26 December 2012 10:30

Wow, that wasn't exactly a smart idea.

howdeedoo 22

Wednesday 26 December 2012 18:59

Sure it was. OP just forgot and freaked out. That doesn't make it a bad idea

HeyArnold91 8

Wednesday 26 December 2012 11:22

Fireplace = Christmas ambiance? Silly me I thought it was a Christmas tree and decorations.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 528

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 433

The Top

Today, somebody parked an old truck with "FDIC" stickers on the sides in front of the bank I work at. I've been dealing with panicked customers all day, my manager says that the whole bank is at risk, and we can't find who parked the truck there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 121

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 260

You deserved it 4 975

Today, I offered to help my 15 year-old nephew with taking care of his newborn baby. First thing I see when I enter his room is him playing Mario Kart on his Nintendo Switch, and his child with a full diaper, screaming and crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 201

Today, my friend accused me of lying about being gay. Why? I happen to ship some m/f couples in the works of fiction I follow. According to her, gay people are inherently opposed to anything heterosexual, and therefore it shouldn't be possible that I like those ships. The kicker? She herself is straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 116

Today, I deliberately didn't tell my therapist half of what I was going through because I didn't want to depress her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 334

You deserved it 11 432

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 2 729