Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long...

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By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 012

You deserved it 53 201

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Same thing different taste

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 503

You deserved it 56 534

By JustADream - 24/02/2011 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 585

You deserved it 9 477

Dribble drizzle

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 167

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 373

You deserved it 7 314

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 2 057

Hangover time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 409

You deserved it 30 870

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 4 221

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 1 899

Close call

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 04:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 490

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 578

You deserved it 436

doomking10 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 12:23

Yeah, thanks for endangering everyone's lives, bitch. You were so drunk that you pissed yourself twice and don't remember any of it, so you decided driving home would be a good idea?

HiddenAce91 6

Sunday 13 December 2009 12:22

wow that sucks so you pissed yourself twice. The FIRST time being when you drove yourself home drunk.

Comments

Raytestrak 3

Tuesday 15 December 2009 10:23

You sound like someone I'd be VERY proud to show to my parents.

orais 1

Tuesday 15 December 2009 16:02

You were drunk out of your mind driving a motor vehicle putting the lives of others at risk in the process... You belong in jail.

accomplice 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 18:01

YDI for getting drunk befor work day

lamej 7

Wednesday 16 December 2009 3:03

Not **** your life more like **** you for driving drunk. I agree with #111 you belong in jail for putting people at risk through your own stupidity. I bet your parents are very proud of you.

lulu318 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 5:56

you definitely deserve to be in jail, i have been pretty drunk but never have I pissed myself so obviously you were shitfaced and probably could barely function a car people like you are disgusting

blastvortex 3

Wednesday 16 December 2009 20:35

Haha. In other words, you're saying that the fact that you can't hold your liquor takes on more meanings than one. BTW, if you don't do something about this, I hope somebody else does, since the less selfish, senseless, negligent, thieving punks we have on the road, the better.

doz346 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 5:24

dumb bitch, my best friend was paralized from the waist down by a drunk driver. to bad you didnt hit a tree.

PhillyFox 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 3:48

You shouldn't have even been driving. If you can't control yourself when you're drinking enough to not get behind the wheel, you shouldn't drink that much. You could've killed yourself or someone else.