Love: Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his...

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 6 855

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 989

You deserved it 3 756

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 024

You deserved it 5 960

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 3 358

By spiderhater - 12/04/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 801

You deserved it 5 322

By Shrieking_Shack_Maiden - 07/09/2018 23:30

Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 666

You deserved it 261

Scream

By dating a pussy - 18/02/2014 21:15 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 237

You deserved it 5 759

By thenotsomanlyman - 07/03/2011 16:17 - United States

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 692

You deserved it 41 684

By mutantprincess - 12/01/2016 10:48 - Australia

Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 643

You deserved it 5 505

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 975

You deserved it 4 106

Wailing

By katchoo - 03/11/2013 07:34 - Denmark

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 600

You deserved it 8 495

AlwaysWatching 27

Sunday 8 June 2014 19:25

Now he has to burn down the room and watch it be extinguished from the sidewalk.

TheFlamingTiger 9

Sunday 8 June 2014 19:25

In all honesty, I probably would have done the same thin

Comments

beeth 2

Monday 9 June 2014 3:12

No you didn't.

Fas4wd 13

Monday 9 June 2014 4:19

Sad. So sad.

FieryMite 4

Monday 9 June 2014 4:36

Some peoples arachnophobia just takes over I guess

redbear15 8

Monday 9 June 2014 4:56

I'm a grown man and could tell you I probably would have shit myself and passed out being petrified of spiders!!

rocker_chick23 27

Monday 9 June 2014 6:23

Having arachnophobia doesn't make OP's boyfriend any less of a man. My husband is 6'2" and was a cop for 4 years. He is deathly afraid of spiders and gets me to get rid of them.

brittyboo123 35

Monday 9 June 2014 7:12

I'm pretty sure 99.9% of us would have done the same thing... OP must be wonder woman...

annunaki_fml 11

Monday 9 June 2014 7:50

you should have made a cell phone with ur hand

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 9 June 2014 8:09

What you don't realize is that the spider also needed a Tic Tac. Your boyfriend called you in for P-U Patrol.

cailey1234567890 24

Monday 9 June 2014 9:36

When i first saw this i thought it said roommate. Boyfriends makes it much funnier. But in all seriousness. I do not blame him one bit. Spiders are scary