Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 753

You deserved it 1 659

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/08/2015 17:50 - United States

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 940

You deserved it 2 512

Secretive

By whattheHellman - 23/10/2022 09:00 - Australia - Traralgon

Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 125

By annoyed - 20/02/2013 20:33 - United States - Paradise Valley

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 199

You deserved it 2 770

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 369

You deserved it 5 212

By u wot? - 14/02/2015 12:14 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 470

You deserved it 2 341

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 854

You deserved it 183

Help yourself!

By called the cops - 22/09/2023 19:00 - United States

Today, my now ex was angrily moving out of our place. She slammed the door so hard behind her it bounced back wide open instead of latching. I don’t live in the best of neighborhoods. Since I was out of town, all I could do was watch helplessly on the Ring camera as my place was emptied out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 148

Oh, hi Sharon!

By graveyard-sh*t - 29/10/2019 14:00

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 206

Get out

By Anonymous - 16/03/2021 11:59 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my abusive ex-husband thought it was a good idea to buy the house next door and start living there immediately. Looks like I gotta move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 86

By Luke - 10/09/2015 05:56 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was robbed. I didn't know how the robber got in, as there was no clear signs of forced entry. I later found out that my psycho ex had written my address on the key I lent her when we were going out, then purposely left it on a table in a café. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 260

You deserved it 2 615

Next

Top comments

thedell3030 21

Friday 1 January 2016 7:02

I hope you called the police and everything worked out, OP!

carl_carl_ 28

Friday 1 January 2016 7:02

Get a restraining order!!

Comments

SalsaVerdeDonut 22

Friday 1 January 2016 7:37

I really want to know why she was trying to break down your door. What was her endgame?

countryb_cth 38

Friday 1 January 2016 9:18

She/he was out of flour and desperately needed some for the New Years Eve party. Without the cookies it would be ruined. OP wasn't answering their calls or door so it was only logical for them to break in. Flour makes people do crazy shit.

SecundusSecunda 27

Friday 1 January 2016 7:40

This would be the perfect opportunity to role-play some LOTR or GOT siege! It would also be the perfect opportunity to send a psycho to jail. Happy new year, OP, and all the FML community!

snowkittyyy 18

Friday 1 January 2016 7:41

Are you okay? :o

beeferjay 34

Friday 1 January 2016 7:44

starting the new year off right!

Crazion 26

Friday 1 January 2016 7:46

Call the police.

jlfish360 4

Friday 1 January 2016 8:02

Thats scary.

jlfish360 4

Friday 1 January 2016 8:04

scary!

sousaphonist 14

Friday 1 January 2016 8:37

Call the police. Have him/her arrested. Hell, that's probably grounds for a restraining order.

jeffprobs 29

Friday 1 January 2016 8:44

All ex's are bad, but some of them need a high five, to the face, with a brick, and set on fire

Garagedwella 26

Friday 1 January 2016 9:32

Time for a restraining order!

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 640

You deserved it 20 677

Today, I found out from a cousin why my older aunts treated me so differently when we were growing up. Apparently, my mom told them that when I was 14, I wanted to use tampons instead of pads. According to their backward, archaic logic, that meant I was sexually active. No wonder they hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 107

The Top

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 940

You deserved it 9 426

Today, my daughter wrote a statement refusing to have to look after her brother in the event me and my husband die, then had it made into a legal document by a notary. I love my boy, but he's dumb as a rock and will probably be a lifelong burden to us, so I don’t even blame her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 285

Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 504

You deserved it 11 774

Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 292

You deserved it 3 701

Today, my mean, nasty, arrogant, bully of a sister is getting married for the second time. Meanwhile, I’ve always been kind, caring, considerate… and single as a damn Pringle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 232

Today, I’ve been working 4 months to cover people isolating, so I was finally looking forward to a Saturday of fishing, a date night then a lazy Sunday watching TV. Only my wife who, as soon as she heard I had a whole weekend free, handed me a list of vital house jobs that need doing, “NOW NOW NOW.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 226