Health: Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering...

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By Firepants - 28/08/2010 16:04 - Canada

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 503

You deserved it 4 122

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 678

You deserved it 27 506

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 166

By unsuckable - 28/08/2015 06:13 - United States - Denver

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 908

You deserved it 4 174

By person - 26/12/2010 17:59 - Jordan

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 925

You deserved it 28 342

By kaylajere - 26/05/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 172

You deserved it 36 799

By Steve - 24/02/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 36 224

Arsehole

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was taking my shower, as usual. As I was putting soap on my behind, I heard a pop. I also felt a burning sensation near my butthole. I have a blood filled bubble in my arse, which got infiltrated with soap. I have a drums lesson in a bit. My butt is stinging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 153

By adamwilcockson - 18/09/2014 04:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 876

You deserved it 2 971

Mr. Burns

By Anonymous - 20/09/2020 17:00 - United States

Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 524

Fire in the hole!

By CarrieBerrie - 14/08/2020 17:01

Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 524

WarmedIce 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:15

haha that's bites!

uupa99 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:15

that sure sucks, firebutt.

Comments

WarmedIce 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:15

haha that's bites!

mattman1994 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:20

Way to be creative mom and dad o_O

Prototype12 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:29

yea sure, ants

OhMyHolyBalls 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:31

Aww OP, I'm so sorry /: ...Firebutt (;

2kool4skoolyo 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:32

did you know that there is something called anti-cream and anti-burn cream too!?! use it sir and it will make the pain go away :)

skroal 7

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:37

Rub mayonnaise on the bites. I'm not even kidding.

sammehsaurus 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:49

At least you have a hot ass? lol:)

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Sunday 29 August 2010 0:05

Were you sitting on a fireant mound naked? fireants are a fact of life here in Florida. How could you not feel the 10+ fireants crawling on you? Your nick should be NumbButt.