By UnderConstruction - 04/05/2012 14:34 - Canada - Pickering

Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 424
You deserved it 4 279
Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

TwitchingNebula 17

Don't keep condoms in your wallet. They dry out and crack and you can get someone pregnant by using them.

241 4
rubberduckie94 13

Either the size or the fact op is old enough to drive a car, yet still uses a Velcro wallet.

61 5

Comments

TwitchingNebula 17

Don't keep condoms in your wallet. They dry out and crack and you can get someone pregnant by using them.

241 4
daltonromanowski 11

This. The friction and tight space in your wallet renders them almost useless.

42 1
ebonyirony 29

Also you don't keep them in your car

7 21
cajekraze 7

And don't keep anything in a Velcro wallet. You aren't 6, grow up and get some leather

77 26
Idonebeenhad 17

18- ...it's just there to keep it shut. It's complete preference.

41 7
Drigr 9

I've got likes for velcros and leathers. My velcro seemed more compact and like it flattened out better (but that would have also been from a year of use. I recently (month or so ago) switched to a leather wallet (hated the way money fits into a trifold wallet) and it feels bulkier and if I'm sitting on it too long its uncomfortable. Oh no, another personal anecdote... Thumb down

23 6
maskedman 9

I thought they were laughing at the loose change. Condoms are serious business to me, but loose change is hilarious.

25 1
ifoundalaska 11

44- I'd advise you not to sit on your wallet at all, my dad ended up getting some kind of leg cramping from doing that for so long. It's becoming a common problem among men :p

7 2
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

Shouldn't you be a little more concerned about your situation then looking dumb, Op? You were in a frickin' car accident!

8 1
Fmeonce_shameonu 15

This is one of the funniest FMLs I've seen. Good for you for keepin it real! Always have to be preped! You don't deserve to get peppered by all these virgins with their negative ass comments. Keep the sex-Ed crusty condom talk in class where it belongs.

2 7
laden_swallow09 34

76 - You use "Sex Ed." as if it's a bad thing.

1 1
DMarie217 0

Well hey " safety " first right!? Lol

0 1
Fmeonce_shameonu 15

79. You talk about it like it is...pathetic

0 4
Fmeonce_shameonu 15

Sorry for being rude..here's what I genuinely learned from sex Ed.......oh wait, nothing!

0 4
Fmeonce_shameonu 15

AND; I've had more unprotected sex in my life then protected sex, I'm 25, and have no kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's called a brain. Use it, but use it correctly

1 9
TwitchingNebula 17

Judging by your picture 76, 96, 97, and 98 you get beat up a lot...

7 2
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

98- you act like it's impossible for women to get pregnant during unprotected sex. It happens dude, more then you think. Why the hell do you think they make condoms anyway?

0 1
GetDirtyDoWork 1

You might not have kids... But you probably have some type of std. eveennn better

2 1
rubberduckie94 13

Either the size or the fact op is old enough to drive a car, yet still uses a Velcro wallet.

61 5
Saraahx97 0

And thats why you keep your condoms in your car

10 51
fistnazal 10

Mm unless you live some where that is always hot...

18 0
ScaughtieHolden 11

Having a high degree of heat or high temperature.

38 0
benhd1 14

And that is why you should keep your comments to yourself

13 0
YourAFailmod 4

There's a good way to start a conversation!(;

39 1
Michael_92 20

I can see it right now OP "hey pretty lady how would you like to come to my room after visiting hours" Nurse "Well that all depends on a few things" *takes out wallet and condoms fall everywhere* OP "Oh yea baby there's plenty more where them came from".....awkward.

12 1
bfsd42 20

Just like a piñata for a bachelor. Condoms and laundry money instead of candy.

50 0
laden_swallow09 34

Sounds like a totally bitchin' 21st birthday party!

2 1
DMarie217 0

Well hey " safety " first right!? Lol

2 1
amberxxoo 6

How old are you? Velcro? Really?

59 13
Caliborn_06 11

There's nothing wrong with Velcro. Shut up.

20 2
amberxxoo 6

And hey. At least you got felt up by the nurse..?

6 33
KiddNYC1O 20

"That man's got a case of the hornys."

17 0
skoob1 12

If getting your wallet taken qualifies as 'being felt up' are pickpockets really molesters? Or does that make them a prostitute for being paid?

34 0
cr3ativity 15

Scumbag nurses these days. Last time I went into the emergency room, some of the nurses were betting whether or not I would shit the bed or not after the surgery.

44 6
CaramelMacchiato 13

^ I bet money he didn't.

2 2
KiddNYC1O 20

I bet 2, he did.

5 1
skoob1 12

Maybe the nurse was checking his wallet to find his blood type? Some people carry those blood donor cards...

1 9
cr3ativity 15

Sadly I did. It's a very awkward situation when you wake up at 3:09 AM on a gurney/ bed and you hear a rumbling noise from your very own bowels. Followed by a wafting scent that makes your nose cringe in disbelief. The nurse won $30 by the way. Don't ask me how I remember all these details. It's just that I tend to remember every single embarrassing thing I have done.

21 0
benhd1 14

Well you kinda have to keep it light especially in a hospital where 1 in 3 people who come in will die

2 1