Work: Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that...

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 10:55 - Australia

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 469

You deserved it 38 081

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Golden rule

By Gilgamuch - 05/12/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, I forgot the golden rule when having windows open on your computer: always check which one you are typing in before hitting Enter to send. Me detailing my plan to fake a doctor's appointment for an extra day off to who I thought was my girlfriend means I now have to explain my miraculous recovery to my boss tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 878

By rawr - 20/04/2011 14:15

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 375

You deserved it 3 577

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 122

You deserved it 52 132

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 13:18 - Sweden

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 977

You deserved it 41 150

By hatemyboss - 03/11/2011 16:13 - Canada

Today, I gave my boss a nick name. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 584

You deserved it 45 095

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 08:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 402

You deserved it 6 644

Devil's wages

By fucked - 14/03/2014 19:40 - Canada

Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 897

You deserved it 3 779

Unionize!

By worksux - 05/01/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 135

You deserved it 4 147

NDA FML

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 180

By hanmart - 15/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 459

You deserved it 2 642

smexykero 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 16:30

I like the part where nuns use computers.

speechless5 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 16:09

hehehe, brilliant! :D

Comments

shadowPlayer 6

Thursday 20 January 2011 17:32

That's hilarious!!

DakotaCat 4

Thursday 20 January 2011 17:36

Hows about you just Stfu when the nuns are present! My mother is a nun for your imformation!

Doortje 29

Thursday 20 January 2011 17:39

For your information, mo ome cares.

Zebidee 8

Thursday 20 January 2011 17:50

Wait. What? How does THAT work? o_O

thatguy205 4

Thursday 20 January 2011 17:52

^^ New words? I like them.

sublime420 11

Thursday 20 January 2011 17:52

Sounds like she wasnt a very good one, then

macskapingvin 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 18:28

My mother was also a nun. My dad was a short-sighted penguin.

metalwolf 17

Thursday 20 January 2011 18:34

Adoption. Don't tell him that his father is really Doc.

alwa7sh 2

Thursday 20 January 2011 21:32

STFU! you just sinned go confess to your mom. While you at it tell her about the sinful FMLs you read on this site. And yes, mo ome cares

alwa7sh 2

Thursday 20 January 2011 21:37

did you just abreivate Shut The **** Up! you just sinned go confess to your mom. While you are at it tell her about the sinful FMLs you read on this site of people committing adultery. And yes, mo ome cares

alwa7sh 2

Thursday 20 January 2011 21:39

Sirin_fml 46

Thursday 20 January 2011 21:50

Did you just reply to yourself? Out, demon! The power of Christ* compels you! *may actually be DocBastard wearing a fake beard and a hippy cut

Zebidee 8

Friday 21 January 2011 0:26

If it is actually Doc, do we still get to nail him to a tree?

Sirin_fml 46

Friday 21 January 2011 0:58

Yes, but with nails made out of foam. He's a delicate flower of a man, and all that entails.

Zebidee 8

Friday 21 January 2011 3:26

I don't know - somehow crucifixion with spray foam just doesn't have the same ring to it. You're hardly going to generate a large following if you go to show people your stigmata, and all you have is sticky palms. Surely people will just point and laugh...

DocBastard 38

Friday 21 January 2011 5:37

I'm not sure if I should be flattered by this, horrified, amused, disgusted, or titillated. I'm going with titillated, but only because it's a fun word to say.

Sirin_fml 46

Friday 21 January 2011 6:21

Well, I accidentally deleted one of my own comments, so now you guys look like you're even more cracked than usual and are talking to yourselves. But it went like this: "Did you just reply to yourself? Out, demon! The power of Christ* compels you! *may actually be DocBastard wearing a fake beard and a hippy cut* Anyway, titillated is a nice word, though I'm suspicious of any words that Perdix would ruin perfectly good underwear upon hearing.

Zebidee 8

Friday 21 January 2011 11:50

That doesn't leave a lot of words, frankly. Perdix has to 'go to the bathroom' if he hears the word 'Nutella'. Laughing at you accidentally modding your own comment... I suppose that's what the QDB is for.