Work: Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that...

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 10:55 - Australia

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 469

You deserved it 38 081

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Same thing different taste

Golden rule

By Gilgamuch - 05/12/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, I forgot the golden rule when having windows open on your computer: always check which one you are typing in before hitting Enter to send. Me detailing my plan to fake a doctor's appointment for an extra day off to who I thought was my girlfriend means I now have to explain my miraculous recovery to my boss tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 878

By rawr - 20/04/2011 14:15

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 375

You deserved it 3 577

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 122

You deserved it 52 132

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 13:18 - Sweden

Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 977

You deserved it 41 150

By hatemyboss - 03/11/2011 16:13 - Canada

Today, I gave my boss a nick name. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 584

You deserved it 45 095

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 08:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 402

You deserved it 6 644

Devil's wages

By fucked - 14/03/2014 19:40 - Canada

Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 897

You deserved it 3 779

Unionize!

By worksux - 05/01/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 135

You deserved it 4 147

NDA FML

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 180

By hanmart - 15/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 459

You deserved it 2 642

smexykero 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 16:30

I like the part where nuns use computers.

speechless5 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 16:09

hehehe, brilliant! :D

Comments

kachowak 0

Friday 21 January 2011 1:01

if you really don't get it I have a bunch of picture books for you guys to read :D for 10$ a piece. :)

pyrogirl6622 0

Friday 21 January 2011 2:28

wow you really suck

OtherHighlander 0

Friday 21 January 2011 4:30

This sounds like a hilarious improv skit.

theinfamousrayne 0

Friday 21 January 2011 4:46

Next time those nuns pray it better be for a sense of humor! lol

vbmg152 18

Friday 21 January 2011 5:30

So, I'm not the only one that doesn't get it?

msxjanayy 0

Friday 21 January 2011 6:05

ihad to reread it like 10x . idk what it is, but it's hard to understand at first .

Gunz24 0

Friday 21 January 2011 6:57

this is the worst FML ice ever seen. how did this even pass moderation.

ZestySquid 4

Friday 21 January 2011 6:58

hahaha that's funny :)

XxKyttixX 0

Friday 21 January 2011 7:00

lol OP you made me smile.

Thanateros 1

Friday 21 January 2011 7:26

AVE SATANAS

Keywords

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The Top

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 1 050

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

The Top

Today, I found out my daughter is tolerating abuse from her boyfriend, all because, “He’s 6’4, has dark hair, and green eyes.” Apparently, that outweighs him treating her like shit. I don’t know what else to tell her to convince her to leave him, or it’s a matter of time before I see her in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 141

Today, I just called my now ex-girlfriend to break up with her, due to our insurmountable lack of communication, even though I was in therapy for four months to try and keep the relationship afloat. Before breaking up, she'd blocked me on Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter and Instagram for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 180

Today, I had to stand outside the changing room while two of my coworkers had noisy sex. I just needed my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 066

You deserved it 234

Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 155

Today, I thought it would be romantic to propose to my girlfriend during halftime at a local football game. I arranged everything with the stadium staff. When the moment came, I got down on one knee, only for her to hiss, "Are you serious? Right here?" She ran off, leaving me kneeling in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 846

Today, I asked my son about girls and stuff and he told me he’s probably never going to date. I asked him why, and it turns out he’s afraid of being sent to jail if she makes any sort of false allegation against him. I told him not all women are like that, he told me I’m either naive or lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 270