Miscellaneous: Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my...

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 665

You deserved it 2 955

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Same thing different taste

By valarmorgoolies - 06/02/2015 18:51 - United States - Binghamton

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 829

You deserved it 3 036

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 816

You deserved it 9 725

By hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 145

You deserved it 15 542

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 20:36 - United States - Deland

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 982

You deserved it 38 806

By ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 336

You deserved it 3 084

Sneaky dad

By say no to dick - 18/04/2014 22:56 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 746

You deserved it 43 597

Sometimes the truth is too weird to believe

By fml9124 - 06/06/2021 14:01

Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 539

Hank Pecker

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 15:29 - United States - Richmond

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 160

You deserved it 3 616

Chill out, Judy

By Anonymous - 11/07/2021 08:01

Today, my mom found out about my brother smoking. She calmly discussed smoking with him. On the other hand, I got yelled at and made to do chores all day despite having a university exam, just because I knew about it but I didn't tell her, because I knew that I would get the short end of the stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 106

Placebo

By mother teresa was a cunt - 17/09/2015 14:54 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 524

You deserved it 5 459

Dark__Angel66 24

Sunday 29 September 2013 8:43

Even though you're grounded, don't let that stop you from working out! Congrats for all your hard work, don't let your brother's jealousy get in the way :)

lanco_fml 10

Sunday 29 September 2013 8:41

stay true to your self and out a breeding on your brother

Comments

JakePower98 5

Sunday 29 September 2013 17:27

I've encountered things like this before and I believe I have the best advice: smother him with a pillow while he's sleeping. You're the stronger one of the two. You shouldn't have much trouble. If he starts fighting back, start punching either the pillow or his body until he stops moving. I've done this before. It's 100% effective.

Amizee 12

Sunday 29 September 2013 18:00

Nothing wrong with a little green :)... Good on you for getting to the gym though haha

HumanWiki 8

Sunday 29 September 2013 18:03

Time to put those new muscles to use and show them both their place.

sebmarks 1

Sunday 29 September 2013 20:58

Oh sorry OP. Jealousy is a bitch. Why don't you have her drug test you to prove that you aren't smoking though?

LisandroH 6

Monday 30 September 2013 3:23

Don't let them hate on your gains!

admiralawsome5 2

Monday 30 September 2013 22:28

punch him show them your not lying

CarlosDanger 12

Monday 30 September 2013 23:07

Drug test? Unless you have been doing drugs.

TheAngryPrincess 3

Tuesday 1 October 2013 0:12

Dumbass mom.

msmedieval 11

Tuesday 1 October 2013 7:34

Don't let him get you down! Bring some weights home & keep working out. It'll prove to your mom that your brother is lying & it will drive him crazy that he couldn't stop you.