Animals: Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could...

By loser4life - 30/07/2011 04:38 - United States

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 442

You deserved it 79 628

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Same thing different taste

Great opener

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 20:14 - United States - Champlin

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 679

You deserved it 29 309

Right in the kisser

By Anonymous - 08/03/2020 20:17

Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 243

By Anonymous - 13/07/2016 15:21 - United States - Dunkirk

Today, thanks to puberty, I have an acne rash around my mouth. Rumors are already flying around school saying I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 700

You deserved it 944

By missTyfied - 25/08/2012 19:11 - Philippines - Sucat

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 191

You deserved it 3 507

Because of him

By whytho - 19/11/2019 03:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 491

You deserved it 365

By impure - 29/09/2014 16:48 - United States

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 226

You deserved it 4 530

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 186

You deserved it 40 098

Damn

By happybudiess - 14/10/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 240

You deserved it 55 503

Stay safe, stay home

By Anonymous - 17/03/2020 05:30

Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 215

By Mr. E - 14/11/2018 17:30

Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 896

You deserved it 196

OcampoFTW 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:08

Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix!

GigaPudding_fml 24

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:08

What do you do with your dogs...?

Comments

Barriaultcory 16

Wednesday 19 December 2012 6:29

Words can not describe the silence followed by uncontrollable laughter that ensued

Akay4 14

Saturday 2 March 2013 4:52

Dafuq did I just read?

still_guns 16

Tuesday 26 March 2013 18:17

Oh my God! Classic! Just ******* classic!

SuperNavi64 9

Friday 14 June 2013 23:50

This is why we google things.

Euronymous93 29

Saturday 10 August 2013 22:34

How did you not deserve this?

XxQuartersxX 14

Saturday 7 September 2013 17:32

Are you mentally impaired?

geez9311 11

Sunday 15 September 2013 21:32

....and what did you expect when that question came outta your mouth?

dannnngthatsux 19

Wednesday 26 November 2014 0:03

Yes you can.Not as many as humans. But maybe Mrs. Dog did the mamba on his leg and he was worried about her getting pregnant! (Or him?)

doge71 8

Friday 13 February 2015 20:04

Do you feel the need to be popular?

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 25 April 2015 14:27

Were you trying to be funny or something?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 3 895

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

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You deserved it 134

The Top

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 082

You deserved it 2 692

Today, immediately after being informed of the sketchy activities that take place in our store parking lot after dark, I'm handed an orange vest and told to go out there to retrieve carts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 646

You deserved it 2 522

Today, despite being claustrophobic and avoiding lifts at all costs, I had to use the lift at work to carry boxes of paper to the 3rd floor. It broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 777

You deserved it 307

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 142

You deserved it 6 619

Today, I had to go to work on my day off to suspend someone. Afterwards, I got a call saying I can't suspend the person in question because the supervisor who told me to suspend them was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 424

You deserved it 674

Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 1 447