Intimacy, Sex, Virginity and Awkward: Poor perfomance

Poor perfomance

By Anonymous - 04/08/2022 04:00

Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 056

You deserved it 633

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Same thing different taste

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 042

You deserved it 9 713

Double standard

By NoSexForMe - 13/07/2014 07:46 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 815

You deserved it 8 659

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 18 790

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 328

You deserved it 38 092

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 651

You deserved it 29 365

By snortingspunk - 03/12/2015 12:52 - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 460

You deserved it 4 133

Underperforming

By ThatIsNotIt - 24/01/2021 04:02 - United Kingdom

Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 182

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 885

You deserved it 9 239

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 305

By anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 313

You deserved it 7 527

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 4 August 2022 6:48

How would he know? If his inaugural ******* was disappointing, you need to up your oral game.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Thursday 4 August 2022 7:06

Don't let this discourage you or him. Fellatio is an art learned with time. Once you got it licked, you'll both be set.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 4 August 2022 6:48

How would he know? If his inaugural ******* was disappointing, you need to up your oral game.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Thursday 4 August 2022 7:06

I guess it...sucked?

Grizz8831 14

Thursday 4 August 2022 11:32

just not that well.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Thursday 4 August 2022 7:06

Don't let this discourage you or him. Fellatio is an art learned with time. Once you got it licked, you'll both be set.

guruza 6

Thursday 4 August 2022 8:24

Give it time...

D J's MOM 17

Thursday 4 August 2022 12:24

he's either an asshole to hurt your feelings, or he's not a virgin.

Ubehage 32

Thursday 4 August 2022 13:06

The first ******* was disappointing for me too. He was a dick, literally, to hurt your feelings that way. But maybe he was just being awkward, with no ill-intentions.

Nix188 13

Thursday 4 August 2022 13:38

it takes experience for it to be good. you gotta tell him to tell you how he wants it. eventually it'll be all he thinks about, give it time

timinator5000 28

Friday 2 September 2022 11:16

My guess is he was so self conscious and was in his own head that he couldn't get to the point where he enjoyed it. Hopefully in time if you do different things he can tell you what really gets him going.