Miscellaneous: Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 175

You deserved it 2 575

World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles
Stories where love for the planet meets situations that are as green as they are funny! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Get the message

By Smelly - 05/04/2022 16:00

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 453

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 017

You deserved it 2 460

It's the thought that counts

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 692

You deserved it 5 834

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 592

You deserved it 5 318

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 355

You deserved it 18 088

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 673

You deserved it 2 030

It's all downhill from here

By Brenna - 17/11/2021 10:59

Today, I woke up realizing my 40th birthday is on Sunday and I’ll only have about 40 more years to live after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 266

By fatty - 17/11/2014 21:05 - United States - Gloucester

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 958

You deserved it 5 742

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 159

By SadOldBag - 23/08/2018 21:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 230

You deserved it 241

Next

Top comments

XBurytheCastleX 25

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

I'm sorry, I slipped and hit YDI. Everything is now ruined. FYL

xlord 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Wow that's crazy!!! I wonder what you get when you turn 50 ?

Comments

kenzie_gauche 12

Sunday 4 January 2015 8:10

Well Happy Birthday??????

thing1andthing2 8

Sunday 4 January 2015 13:55

Those were just things I got in the mail. The rest of my birthday was great. My parents and siblings took me out to dinner to celebrate and they all gave me sweet and sentimental birthday cards, gifts and cash. We all had a marvelous time and I felt very loved. It was the best birthday that I ever had.

JustTheFacts 5

Sunday 4 January 2015 20:47

I can top that. I got a free funeral plot from the local cemetery for Mother's Day.

BDA_fml 5

Monday 5 January 2015 20:32

What were you expecting a pony? Your 40 get over it.

NamelessFace 22

Saturday 10 January 2015 1:25

Maybe a card? Not too much to ask, is it?

xxsakuraxx 29

Thursday 8 January 2015 10:27

Thats terrible! I'm sorry.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Cats Music Dance Cute Instagram Cheating Love Social Media Money Kids Pizza Parenting Coworkers Ironic Work Relatable Mental health My ex Transportation Awkward Miscellaneous Keys Neighbours Vacation Family Annoying Accident Pregnancy Health

The Top

Today, my husband of 6 years told me he has a 5 year-old. In fact, she was conceived the night before our wedding. Apparently, the “one last time fuck as a single man” with his female bestie was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He doesn’t get why I’m not speaking to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 264

You deserved it 233

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 164

You deserved it 4 780

The Top

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 335

You deserved it 3 570

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 476

You deserved it 25 616

Today, I asked my helicopter parent mother if I could go over to a friend's house. She said no because her parents weren't there, and if she accused me of assaulting her, I'd have no defense. We're both 16, I'm gay and she's a lesbian. My mom is well aware of these facts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 158

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 697

You deserved it 3 592

Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 284

You deserved it 7 671

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 247

You deserved it 5 554