Miscellaneous: Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 348

You deserved it 18 077

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Same thing different taste

Get the message

By Smelly - 05/04/2022 16:00

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 442

By eslteacher - 13/05/2009 04:39 - Korea Republic of

Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a birthday present from her and all of my co-workers. It was a really fancy box. It had very nice wrapping. It had a pretty bow. It was kind of heavy. It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 927

You deserved it 8 590

By random123 - 29/11/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 162

You deserved it 7 760

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 800

You deserved it 6 878

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 036

You deserved it 601

Thanks, I guess…

By Gabrielguitar - 25/04/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 891

You deserved it 5 317

Unhappy birthday

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 19:00 - Australia

Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 089

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 165

You deserved it 2 574

By Kensie - 04/03/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 769

You deserved it 5 987

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 690

Next

Top comments

lolwut_fail 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:01

The big bow is a nice touch.

24788 6

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:02

Either it's a gag gift or someone really is sending you a message in a hostile way.

Comments

pelica 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:01

aww!

MissyWissyKach 0

Friday 14 August 2009 16:08

mmm minty

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Monday 6 September 2010 4:57

true

katsteak 0

Thursday 5 May 2011 2:57

damn.

steierr 7

Sunday 12 June 2011 8:46

at least u get presents :( jkjkjk

Slythrr 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 21:09

your breath stinks hint hint

lolwut_fail 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:01

The big bow is a nice touch.

ccftw 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 5:52

I agree haha

24788 6

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:02

Either it's a gag gift or someone really is sending you a message in a hostile way.

Chidge 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:04

Well mate, that's oral hygene.

genesisdeleon 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:04

maybe you should gargle more often? :P

Blanadestroyer 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:05

Wait, you didn't notice the TopDentist gift card we left you too?

hayride1987 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:05

clearly you have bad breath... happy birthday!

elliebutton 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:05

Take a hint? Sorry about that though.

Trix_Disorder 20

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:07

Ouch. But you got free mouthwash!

paxromana 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:09

Hint hint? Okay, there isn't a very obvious silver lining to this dark cloud, but perhaps they didn't want to be rude and confrontational? I don't know. I probably would be the office worker to leave secret gifts with subliminal messages, too. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Now you'll have a minty fresh smile.

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The Top

Today, in a misguided attempt to earn my asshole dad's approval I went to university to get my business degree and took over the family restaurant. Now I have all the stress of managing the restaurant, he has retired and is moving abroad. Oh, and he still isn’t proud of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 290

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 341

You deserved it 3 784

The Top

Today, my boss left a lovely invitation to her wedding on my desk. I plan on resigning during our meeting later today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 250

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 1 658

Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 080

You deserved it 1 060

Today, my mom walked in on me shaving the tops of my legs. She called me a freak, since apparently women aren’t even supposed to grow hair there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 82

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 851

You deserved it 1 875

Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 588

You deserved it 10 135