Love: Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy...

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 135

You deserved it 4 243

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Best birthday ever!

By IHateMyLife - 01/02/2021 08:01

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 292

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 21:03 - United States - Edison

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 450

You deserved it 3 536

By misswhiskers - 28/02/2011 11:21 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 087

You deserved it 3 368

Post-it

By Lalalala - 06/09/2020 02:02 - United States - Austin

Today, my boyfriend told me to stay home, because he wanted to come by to give me a birthday surprise. Later on, he came by, posted a note, rung the bell and left. The note was a break up note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 119

By anon - 20/08/2012 05:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 688

You deserved it 2 667

Whoops

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 01:29 - United States

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 627

You deserved it 4 111

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 11:55 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 955

You deserved it 4 137

Dodgy

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 22:01

Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 238

By nofriends - 09/02/2016 05:17 - United States - Boise

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party. The only issue was the fact I didn't have any friends to make it happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 087

You deserved it 1 963

Thanks, babe

By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 17:58 - Canada - Moncton

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 121

FMLandurstoo 9

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:04

Give him a ride to a gay bar far out of town and leave him there.

Dotell95 3

Saturday 25 June 2011 5:06

Tell him you can't because your busy studying

Comments

kaelaworks 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:39

it's my birthday too

MurphyS94 4

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:46

Well, I think that would be proper grounds for a break-up. You can do a lot better OP. And happy birthday :)

chrismonteith 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:52

did u give him a ride?

speshlk37 13

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:57

sounds about right

ribbyc80 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 8:02

anyway, this happened to me, except it was a three eyed midget, with a club foot and a third nipple.... te nipple thing still creeps me...

mimikinsz 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 8:14

thats actully funny but just dump the loser.

BrittanyPernell6 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 8:22

shit my bad every1

DKjazz 20

Saturday 25 June 2011 8:25

Boners, five teeth per inbred hooker, or five teeth total? ...It's important.

bandnerd005 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 9:04

You deserve it for dating such an ass! Get rid of him!

tief06 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 9:08

I seriously hope he is no longer your boyfriend.

Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Transportation Social Media Instagram Shopping Parenting Jealousy Love AITA Am I overreacting? Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Housework Cars Technology Porn Health Sports Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 467

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 314

You deserved it 40 787

The Top

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 451

You deserved it 45 804

Today, I had six long hours with the same math teacher. To get home, I travel by bus. Guess who sat down next to me for the whole trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 719

You deserved it 2 501

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to use an electric sander on my arm during our construction class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 829

You deserved it 387

Today, I was supposed to leave for Disney. Our trip was cancelled last year because of the pandemic. This morning, we found out my sister’s boyfriend, who was a last-minute add-on to the trip, has COVID. Cancelled again. Maybe next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 159

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 163

You deserved it 3 513

Today, I had a second date with a really hot guy I met at the mall. Lucky for me, I went into anaphylactic shock from shrimp and the guy called my parents. When I left the hospital, I was notified that after he called my parents, he ordered more food and charged it to my credit card on file. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 900

You deserved it 1 651