Miscellaneous: Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce...

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By ohn0es - 23/01/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 322

You deserved it 5 242

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Same thing different taste

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 035

You deserved it 2 799

By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 971

You deserved it 274

By TowelSmellsNice - 16/04/2010 12:34 - Malaysia

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 559

You deserved it 70 631

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 012

You deserved it 53 199

I'm never coming out of here

By hcditfi5foygy - 31/08/2018 20:30

Today, I went to my dorm's community bathroom to do my business. After releasing the Kraken, as I was wiping, I accidentally let go of the toilet paper. Instead of the toilet, it hit the floor in the next stall. Someone was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 442

You deserved it 579

Close call

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 04:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 489

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 1 409

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 446

You deserved it 4 697

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 524

You deserved it 1 390

Bustin' my ass

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 198

Superman8_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 2:58

go to the dollar store and buy some alarm clocks. set them for different times and hide them in their room, always a good prank. :)

Lizo_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 7:21

that is toooooo ******* funny. not really life fukkery tho. Just a prank. Think of some wicked way to get back at em!

Comments

PaperxHearts_xox 0

Monday 13 April 2009 1:06

Lmfao! That's gotta suck. but seriously, it's hilarious.

BobLaw616 0

Monday 27 April 2009 0:03

#13 No that would not be taking it too far... #8 good idea!

glitter_kiss 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 3:23

lol

Nacirema20 0

Tuesday 7 July 2009 0:19

Ew. Gross. YDI. how could u not notice it??

LikeOhMahGoose 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 10:18

Well. He/she was barely awake. And it's SEE THROUGH. Smrt one.

Sycops 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 22:21

What does that even mean? ohn0es even mentions that he/she was "dropping a deuce" you'd have to sit down either way...

Sycops 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 22:24

I definantly agree that this is a good FML line, but in retrospect its gotta be hysterical.

cmac86 23

Saturday 24 October 2009 7:52

put a bolioun (sp?) cube in the shower head, so when they take a shower, they'll end up smelling like a type if soup.

Perversive 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 4:30

YDI for saying "drop a duece".

hellokittywhore 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 9:41

just for saying deuce you diserved it you duche!!!! i hate when peole say that, and take à dump! really??? do you really have to Share with everyone who has excess to the internet about the Large shittt you Took?

pun619 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 0:34

u mest be a girl if you didnt see the plastic? I didn't that guys checked for plastic wrap on their toilets every time they go

PhishloverA 14

Monday 16 July 2012 1:35

You 'mest' be blonde if you can't spell 'must.' i don't care if you're a guy or girl blonde, but you sound like one. I can barely even understand what you said because you skipped a word in the sentence and you didn't even make sense. If you were trying to say "I didn't know guys checked for plastic wrap on their toilets everytime they go", then, well, nobody whether they're a girl or guy really does check for plastic wrap on toilets. And OP definitely didn't, so I don't know who checked for plastic wrap