Miscellaneous: Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce...

By ohn0es - 23/01/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 312

You deserved it 5 239

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 027

You deserved it 2 794

By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 966

You deserved it 271

By TowelSmellsNice - 16/04/2010 12:34 - Malaysia

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 553

You deserved it 70 617

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 007

You deserved it 53 184

I'm never coming out of here

By hcditfi5foygy - 31/08/2018 20:30

Today, I went to my dorm's community bathroom to do my business. After releasing the Kraken, as I was wiping, I accidentally let go of the toilet paper. Instead of the toilet, it hit the floor in the next stall. Someone was in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 439

You deserved it 574

Close call

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 04:00 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I woke up and realized I had to pee sooo bad. The problem was, I sleep naked with my partner, who lives with one of their sisters. I didn't have time to get dressed before running to a shared bathroom, and even then I "drizzled" a little bit on the bathroom floor. I cleaned it and myself up but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 434

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 392

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 436

You deserved it 4 697

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 519

You deserved it 1 383

Bustin' my ass

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 192

Superman8_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 2:58

go to the dollar store and buy some alarm clocks. set them for different times and hide them in their room, always a good prank. :)

Lizo_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 7:21

that is toooooo ******* funny. not really life fukkery tho. Just a prank. Think of some wicked way to get back at em!

Comments

Lizo_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 7:21

that is toooooo ******* funny. not really life fukkery tho. Just a prank. Think of some wicked way to get back at em!

YourAFailmod 4

Sunday 13 May 2012 4:09

Don't get mad get glad!

Superman8_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 2:58

go to the dollar store and buy some alarm clocks. set them for different times and hide them in their room, always a good prank. :)

Victor_90 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 17:42

@5 meaning of #3 if the poster isnt a chick its a dude with a small penis

Imthatgirlthere 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 4:45

I was about to ask why she would do that. Go put green hair dye in her conditioner and ask a guy friend to **** in her lotion.

jimmypham1025 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 1:47

Ummm.... Who the hell puts glad wrap on the toilet?

eehizle 0

Friday 2 July 2010 4:54

pranksters.

oulala_fml 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 9:30

hahahhaaaa thats soo funny! but i'm sure they got that idea from an episode of Friends :)

monkeys488 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 17:15

wow thats a great idea!

cherrykitty86 0

Friday 27 March 2009 17:01

haha dude that is so sick lol im going to do that to my bf

could_be_funny 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 3:33

hahaha #8 that may be taking it too far...

Etc80 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 3:32

Ick, I've heard about this joke, but never really though people actually DID it. It's just diGUSTING. I like the idea with the alarm clocks. Or if they're girls and use blow-driers: Put flour in them (the blow-driers). Or put toothpaste in their shampoo-bottle or something. Anything to get revenge.