Health: Today, my 18th birthday, I woke up vomiting with a temperature...

By Nick M - 19/12/2016 17:49

Today, my 18th birthday, I woke up vomiting with a temperature of 104 degrees. After I settled back in bed with some water, my mom said, "This is how you're supposed to feel on your 21st birthday, not your 18th." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 264

You deserved it 755

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Same thing different taste

By Anna - 18/06/2011 16:54 - Estonia

Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 056

You deserved it 4 532

By Anna - 28/03/2012 01:08 - United States

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 739

You deserved it 4 666

Tis the season to be jolly

By littl3storm - 23/12/2020 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, at the ripe age of 20, I spent the early hours of my morning violently vomiting blood every time I got too warm. I then had the pleasure of shitting in a plastic container for a stool sample, due to said problem, after one and half hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 03/11/2018 14:00

Today, I woke up from celebrating my 29th birthday. I guess it's true that tolerance drops quickly as you age, because I stayed in and only drank a few beers with my husband and spent the entire day retching so hard I puked up blood. My partying days are definitely over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 465

You deserved it 416

Clusterfuck

By Alexis - 18/08/2021 00:00

Today, I went to the doctor's office to get my yearly check up. Soon after I got home, I threw up and somehow had a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 83

By angel grace - 15/02/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 179

You deserved it 260

Friends

By Anonymous - 17/02/2010 07:39 - United States

Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 651

You deserved it 2 626

Happy birthday!

By Happy Birthday to me - 18/12/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, I'm officially no longer a teenager. I spent my birthday bedridden, because I've been extremely sick since the day before. This exact scenario happened last year too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 12:36 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 393

You deserved it 1 494

By Lunab123 - 01/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Potomac

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 903

You deserved it 2 562

cheshireau 26

Sunday 25 December 2016 10:08

If you lived in Australia it's perfectly appropriate. I was wrecked the morning of my 18th from drinking and shenanigans the night before.

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 24 December 2016 15:09

Funny, I didn't realize hospital grade fevers were meant to be a 21st birthday tradition. Damn it, I missed out!

Comments

cheshireau 26

Sunday 25 December 2016 10:08

If you lived in Australia it's perfectly appropriate. I was wrecked the morning of my 18th from drinking and shenanigans the night before.

wrenavery90 12

Sunday 3 July 2022 0:43

She made a joke. I'm really missing the problem.

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The Top

Today, I saw a Tesla truck in my rear-view mirror and thought, "Oh, look how cool the front looks!" Five seconds later it rear-ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 167

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 373

You deserved it 6 871

The Top

Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 681

You deserved it 54 758

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 428

You deserved it 2 745

Today, I held a family reunion at my house. I bought a present for my nephew and to mix things up, I hid it in the house. We let him search around, amused, when he suddenly emerged shouting “Auntie has a sword!” He had opened the drawer on my nightstand and pulled out my vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 831

You deserved it 1 930

Today, my mom talked me into going to a funeral since my dad wouldn't go. It was for one of her classmates. When it was our time to view the casket, we paused in front of it for a second before my mom leans over to me and says, "What if I told you that was really your dad?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 239

You deserved it 234

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 524

You deserved it 8 000

Apparently, there is an "I" in "I don't give a f..."

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 114