Kids: Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to...

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 03:54 - Canada - Montréal

Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 737

You deserved it 2 190

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 505

You deserved it 1 644

By James - 30/03/2012 18:44 - United States

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 210

You deserved it 5 199

Alexa, play "You made me realise" by My Bloody Valentine

By singleandthankful - 23/02/2013 23:18 - United Kingdom - Beaconsfield

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 257

You deserved it 4 868

By I weep for our future generation - 01/10/2017 04:30

Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 086

You deserved it 305

By blueheron93 - 13/11/2010 14:25 - Germany

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 247

You deserved it 3 080

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 3 816

By Alex - 26/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 197

You deserved it 76 851

By Anonymous - 04/07/2013 16:27 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 053

You deserved it 4 912

By csc4lyfe09 - 03/03/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 866

You deserved it 3 206

By kitty - 18/10/2010 02:54 - United States

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 476

You deserved it 3 157

PandaSmile 24

Sunday 11 October 2015 18:25

Oh the irony. Does he also think girls can't pee with a tampon in and that they don't fart either?

Nathion 12

Sunday 11 October 2015 18:24

So get a book and educate him

Comments

dexter420 21

Monday 12 October 2015 0:51

Unless u had a colostomy and have a colostomy bag

laurellkawes 31

Monday 12 October 2015 2:08

He should take his own advice. Girls don't have prostrates, they do have colons, otherwise they wouldn't be able to poop

shinikageWolf 15

Monday 12 October 2015 2:27

Wait so girls don't have colons but men want anal sex? I'm confused here.

longhorn427 3

Monday 12 October 2015 2:37

But they don't do they?

anonynous97 13

Monday 12 October 2015 2:38

This isn't just your average every day stupid. This is...advanced stupid!

worldclassrager 39

Monday 12 October 2015 4:18

He should take anatomy in college...

Nightwing_13 2

Monday 12 October 2015 4:32

It's true! Girls don't have colons they only have semi-colons ? Obviously

thatsme293 28

Monday 12 October 2015 5:21

Ask him about the g spot.

Shade1982 20

Tuesday 20 October 2015 12:40

Don't go confusing people with mythical non-existent body parts...

joshi42 16

Monday 12 October 2015 6:22

Well, no anal for him, then.

MSCCG 16

Monday 12 October 2015 8:18

It's gonna be really awkward when he tries to have sex with a girl for the first time with his colon.

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Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 155

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 780

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women fake their orgasms. Why can't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 168

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 038

You deserved it 2 746

Today, I'm gonna have to make the very difficult decision to ask my roommate to get rid of his dogs. They're not only the most disobedient little shits I've ever known, but they're also terrifying my cats. My oldest cat, who has always been pretty chill, quiet, and independent, is now vocal, clingy and nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 295

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 158

You deserved it 3 659

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend deliberately got pregnant, because they found out if she claimed to be a single mom, she could get a council house and free benefits, and then just move him in with her. They're both 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 283

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 353

You deserved it 38 560

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "You made me realise" by My Bloody Valentine

Thanks for the input

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