Kids: Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet...

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

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Same thing different taste

By Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 671

You deserved it 12 246

Wham!

By Omar Khalaf - 28/09/2017 01:30

Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 121

You deserved it 420

Make it stop

By dee - 03/07/2011 05:36 - United States

Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 023

You deserved it 6 457

By downlowtooslow - 12/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 655

You deserved it 6 873

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 561

You deserved it 4 700

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 804

You deserved it 3 321

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 13/04/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 068

You deserved it 24 989

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 3 442

By ash - 14/01/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 180

You deserved it 16 139

thatonegirlnic 10

Sunday 19 January 2014 15:14

He's a reverse sour patch kid. Sweet. Sour. Gone.

chrisstanford 10

Sunday 19 January 2014 15:11

Did you punish him?! Had I done that when I was little I would get timeout and a whopping

Comments

orsombre_fml 11

Monday 20 January 2014 13:35

You might want to think about where he saw it done...

Caymokomoko 23

Monday 20 January 2014 17:38

I hope you gave him a hella wedgie

DeBoss 8

Monday 20 January 2014 22:18

You gotta love them at that age... :)

andreabushman82 6

Monday 20 January 2014 22:40

Hahahhahahahh

laineislights 11

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:59

First they're sweet, then they're sour. Anti-Sour Patch Kids. Sweet, Sour, Gone!

RileyTheCoyote 6

Tuesday 21 January 2014 2:17

My son does this! He's the same age, lol. He gets a timeout for it, but I can't help but chuckle at him when he does it.

Asstarotte 7

Tuesday 21 January 2014 4:43

That's freaking adorable!

flij 6

Tuesday 21 January 2014 8:14

I LOVE THIS XD

el_dew 4

Tuesday 21 January 2014 8:57

'MURICA

oly49 10

Tuesday 21 January 2014 9:17

welcome to murica well this generation is ****** now another already acting up this time there starting at 2 if only our ancestors can see us now

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The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 147

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 198

The Top

Today, my 36 year-old ex-husband is engaged to my 18 year-old little sister. She’s graduating from high school in May of this year. Our divorce was finalized 3 months ago. My life should be a reality drama show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 130

Today, I found out I’m pregnant and got excited. We’d never discussed kids before since we’ve only been dating a year, but I was so happy… until I told him, and his face just fell. I left after he drank himself unconscious and I’m now at my mum's house FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 636

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 933

You deserved it 6 294

Today, my parents told me they were getting divorced, at the beginning of a family road trip, adding that this'll be the last thing we ever do as a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 813

You deserved it 1 676

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years is dating another girl. Not only do she and I share the same hair and eye color, but we also happen to have the same first name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 417

You deserved it 429

Today, I was skiing and crashed into a tree. It was the only tree on the slope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 539