Intimacy: Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady...

By Badaboom - 23/05/2011 10:54 - Netherlands

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

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You deserved it 6 344

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 255

You deserved it 394

By Adam - 16/01/2017 08:00

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 784

You deserved it 995

Don't you want me baby?

By Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

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You deserved it 83

Being a parent 101

By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 291

By theguy24 - 27/01/2009 12:47 - United States

Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 618

You deserved it 9 015

What do I get?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 19:01 - United States - Kula

Today, it's our ten-year anniversary, and I thought finally we would break our 10-month dry spell with some action. My husband had dozed off and was snoring even before I could reach the bed after finishing my chores. So much for happily ever after… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 330

By LoveLost - 09/07/2016 02:57

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 252

You deserved it 2 783

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 06:44 - United States

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 280

You deserved it 3 398

By Anonymous - 19/03/2019 06:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML

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You deserved it 256

I miss him

By Anonymous - 24/02/2020 18:00

Today, after a 6 month dry spell, my husband was yet again “too tired” to have sex. I guess I finally found something I miss about my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 452

You deserved it 454

kportal69 5

Monday 23 May 2011 19:07

that sucks. I've broken a bed. you just have to laugh and keep going which I'm sure was your intent but clearly not hers. keep up with that ****.

Miss_Michaela 10

Monday 23 May 2011 19:13

Next time you go out on the pull: "Hey there, little lady. I've been known to break a few beds".

Comments

vettle 6

Wednesday 25 May 2011 7:59

anyone else read "snapped legs" and had a heart stopping moment?

poopdayz 6

Wednesday 25 May 2011 9:28

Did you elbow drop her? Thats one weak bed frame.

valience123 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 20:25

may I ask your combined weight and what was the bed made out of?

terminator689 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 22:39

what's a dry spell?

Igor_g5 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 23:14

When my bed broke we laughed our asses off and continued.

LK212 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 5:54

kids say the weirdest thing

Reina1123 0

Friday 27 May 2011 5:07

if I was that girl I woulda laughed my ass off and still kept goin

freshko21 6

Saturday 28 May 2011 4:02

you must have broken a mirror some time in ur past buddy lol

TheyCallmeStacey 9

Saturday 28 May 2011 4:46

dude shoulda just kept going

1OlDirtyGrizzly1 0

Sunday 29 May 2011 0:42

i swear ive been there but we just laughed it off n went to the floor instead lol

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The Top

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 597

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Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to take a nap. When I asked him why he wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day, he said, "To make time go by faster." He's leaving in 9 days. We're going to be 3,000 miles apart. For a long time. FML

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Today, I have been in my "office" for 6 weeks. It is literally a closet. I was reminded of this fact when a janitor walked in without knocking, carrying empty boxes he intended to store. FML

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You deserved it 905

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

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You deserved it 3 757

Today, I found out my son kept quiet about having head lice for a week. He's 14. FML

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You deserved it 262

Today, I got a call from an ex, demanding to know why my Facebook relationship status was set as married. I got married a few months ago, and I quietly explained this to her. My wife overheard and now thinks I've been cheating all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 383

You deserved it 5 636

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

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