Kids: Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was...

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's the window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 768

You deserved it 9 581

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Same thing different taste

By sayroshi - 30/06/2016 18:29 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 404

You deserved it 1 334

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 4 372

Looks like we made it… Oh.

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 198

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 3 855

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 897

You deserved it 474

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 4 378

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 181

You deserved it 6 157

By Anonymous - 18/06/2019 06:44

Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 973

You deserved it 1 441

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 299

You deserved it 6 509

When nature calls

By Andrew Williams - 11/12/2020 14:01

Today, as I was walking to go look at Christmas lights in my neighborhood, I really had to go number two. I called my dad to come and pick me up. I couldn’t hold it in much longer, so I took a crap in the sewer in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 358

cdatribe23 0

Friday 5 November 2010 8:10

hahaha sounds like my sister... she's 14.

giantsfan2010 23

Friday 5 November 2010 8:05

I really hope you punished him for that.

Comments

JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0

Friday 5 November 2010 8:20

Your kid is so smart! Hey, at least he didn't crap on his pants.

johobus28 26

Friday 23 October 2015 7:07

Just sent the poop directly to the source haha. This kid just cut out the middle man

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 5 November 2010 8:22

he don't give a fuuuuck.

Zebidee 8

Friday 5 November 2010 8:23

Wait. What? You let your kid wander around unsupervised near an open manhole cover?!! You want to thank your lucky stars that this is something you can laugh about at his 21st, not explain to people at his funeral.

starile 19

Friday 5 November 2010 8:31

Seriously! The kid could've fallen in! Less of a "FML" and more of a "Thank God my son didn't die due to my negligent lack of supervision!" At least he hasn't died YET.

JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0

Friday 5 November 2010 8:35

Maybe the kid was too smart to fall in? << Hell didn't want him, that's the real reason. >xD

xgetxbentx 13

Friday 5 November 2010 8:45

if he makes it to his 21st, if op doesn't start paying attention who knows what danger he may end up in "/

ImaginaryFoe 0

Friday 5 November 2010 12:44

Spot on as usual, zebidee. Letting a five year old wander into a street while you stare in windows is a sure sign of a terrible parent. I can't think of a single exception to that. Open manhole just adds to the glory of your moment, OP. It may be better if you just hand the kid over to the child welfare people now and save them the effort of having to pick him up in a few months.

dcice13 0

Friday 5 November 2010 14:56

thank you. I thought that same thing first. your lucky he didn't fall in. you would no where he went

Epikouros 31

Wednesday 7 September 2011 21:10

Maybe it was a manhole on the sidewalk and he didn't fall in because he was still holding his mother's hand.

yamarider 0

Friday 5 November 2010 8:25

I know some of these FML stories are fake. This one sounds hard to believe.

chelle_starlight 0

Friday 5 November 2010 8:27

classy :D

xgetxbentx 13

Friday 5 November 2010 8:43

ydi for not watching your child. I realize kids run off, but if you guys were that close to a street, especially one with an open manhole, you probably should have been holding his hand. just be glad he was pooping and not falling in. he could have died.