Kids: Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a...

By possiblyoverweight - 08/11/2011 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 899

You deserved it 4 392

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Same thing different taste

Leave us alone

By DepressedMama - 26/01/2022 12:00 - United States - Kula

Today, my husband and mother started supplementing my newborn son with formula, because they are such control freaks and don't like my son getting attached to me. He was doing very well while exclusively breastfed according to the doctor. But it looks like my happiness or my son's well-being is of zero importance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 061

You deserved it 172

Bittie

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 14:02 - Hungary - Sopron

Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 212

By Mamallama - 19/08/2018 13:00

Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 345

You deserved it 401

By wife of a shithead - 06/07/2012 17:44 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 393

You deserved it 4 789

Mind your own *******

By Anonymous - 14/03/2023 22:00

Today, my mother-in-law said, "I just find I'm not at all confident bottle feeding a baby, as I breastfed all of mine." Thank you for making me feel like s*** for me decision to bottle feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 412

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 143

You deserved it 4 260

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 400

You deserved it 6 565

Gratitude walks

By mala_19 - 18/08/2021 02:00 - Sweden - Skellefteå

Today, my 11 month-old son stopped saying mom and started saying dad. He already looks exactly like him. I can't help but feel jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 290

By ameliaruth09 - 22/01/2015 22:36 - United States - Milford

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 905

You deserved it 5 130

By Milk Dispenser - 12/03/2019 05:00 - United States - Herriman

Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 383

that1guy1 13

Tuesday 8 November 2011 18:59

Hey, it's a step in the right direction!

Mennooboer 12

Tuesday 8 November 2011 19:01

Manboobs ftw. =D

Comments

RebekahBrooke 9

Wednesday 9 November 2011 2:26

why did he have access to your nipples??

snoopy10_fml 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 2:35

MOOBS MOOBS MOOBS!!

varkey 7

Wednesday 9 November 2011 2:55

Why weren't you wearing a shirt? YDI if you weren't FYL if you were (but this FML makes that seem very unlikely)

kate1238 9

Wednesday 9 November 2011 3:14

Looks like you have a gay boy congrats :)

carolineoliviaa 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 3:55

Um! Why was your nipple even anywhere near his mouth? Seems like this is what you were going for!

onecrazybitch 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 3:58

I think you need a nursing bro

mle015 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 4:02

Hahaha

dansco 24

Wednesday 9 November 2011 4:06

Erm why did you have your moobs out?!

InUrArea 4

Wednesday 9 November 2011 4:53

Consider it a bonding experience

myFMLname 8

Wednesday 9 November 2011 5:09

*Stewie wakes up and finds it's Peter*

Okayitwasme 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 17:43

I almost gag when I saw that episode.

Okayitwasme 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 17:43

I almost gag when I saw that episode.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 513

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 3 939

The Top

Today, my ex-boyfriend called me. I was really excited, thinking he wanted to get back together. He just wanted to get back the Christmas present he gave me before we broke up so that he could return it for cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 319

You deserved it 1 027

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 948

You deserved it 19 601

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 570

You deserved it 3 438

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 184

You deserved it 4 269

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 608

You deserved it 5 227

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick, which isn't unusual we do a lot of drag. While I was applying it, he started to make gross noises and, after a quick glance, I realized he had a massive erection. He then whispered, "Mmmm don't stop now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 753

You deserved it 4 546