By EosThorn - 02/10/2014 01:33 - Sweden - V?xj?
I agree, your life sucks
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EosThorn tells us more.
OP here. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly, but here goes. Thank you for the encouraging comments, even the harsh ones. I'm aware of how ridiculous this sounds... Trust me. I have two good female friends who I'm sure are tired of me harping away on this. It hasn't been years of me staring at him through foggy windows, all sad. I've dated other people and so has he. It wasn't easy because truly, I love him. Circumstances just didn't allow for us to be together... Whether he wanted to or not. So, I chose to keep his friendship and not risk it. We are adults now and things have changed. It's perfect, but I feel like so much time has passed that he no longer sees me as a girl he'd want to be with now that its possible. We have a special bond and as much as it devastates me to think he would reject me, it would kill me to see everything we have just turn into something ugly.
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Just tell him, OP. A decade is a heck of a long time to have kept those feelings locked up inside. Tell him once and for all, and then whatever happens afterwards, at least you'll finally know where you stand. Best of luck, and please do give us a follow-up!
Speak up about your feelings before someone else speaks up about theirs! He'll never know how you feel if you don't say anything. True, the worst he could say is that he's not interested in you- or your friendship. However, some things are better off knowing. If it's a no, then perhaps you'll eventually feel relieved and can spend your time and energy on someone else. If it's a yes, then congrats! Dare I say it, but what if he planned this whole thing just to see if you'd reveal any feelings for him? Maybe he feels the same about you...
OP here. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly, but here goes. Thank you for the encouraging comments, even the harsh ones. I'm aware of how ridiculous this sounds... Trust me. I have two good female friends who I'm sure are tired of me harping away on this. It hasn't been years of me staring at him through foggy windows, all sad. I've dated other people and so has he. It wasn't easy because truly, I love him. Circumstances just didn't allow for us to be together... Whether he wanted to or not. So, I chose to keep his friendship and not risk it. We are adults now and things have changed. It's perfect, but I feel like so much time has passed that he no longer sees me as a girl he'd want to be with now that its possible. We have a special bond and as much as it devastates me to think he would reject me, it would kill me to see everything we have just turn into something ugly.
meli1195
31
This is kind of sad.... Good luck OP, i hope you can find happiness, even if it's not with him
it's killing you by not doing anything about it. One day, both of you will probably be married but do you want to live the rest of your life asking "What if?" everytime you look at your husband and kids and wonder what your life would have been like had you married the guy of your dreams. You love him, you owe it to yourself to find out if you can have a future with this guy or not OP. Sure, if he rejects you it will hurt, but you'll have your answer and the hurt will be temporary, if you never ask, you will hurt for a lifetime.
You know.. This reminds of a situation I had earlier this year and I get your FML, OP, I really do. I was deeply in love with a man for 3 straight years.. I dated others but it couldn't compare to the feelings I had for him, he also dated others but whilst I watched him put his attention towards someone else it killed me. I've always made my feelings clear and told him I wanted something more even though I knew it would risk our friendship and it did.. I'm January I just broke up with another one of my countless boyfriends/flings and I confided in him and he told me he had romantic feelings and asked me out! We were only together for a week but during that whole time i realized that taking that risk was the best decision I ever made and even though we don't talk anymore I'm still happy about it. Life isn't about sitting around waiting and wondering what could have been, it's not a "what if", it's about knowing yourself and experiencing, growing as a person. So you tell him to STOP looking online for a woman that he probably won't have anything in common with and you jump out of that plane and tell him. Love is like your first time skydiving.. You're terrified of jumping out of that plane because you might get horribly hurt but when you have someone behind your back and you land safely then it's okay :) and you can do it again.
OP have you thought of what would happen if it did work out?
Thank you, all, really. I've decided, I'm just going to do it. Whatever happens can't be worse than this, right? Actually, yes, I have thought about what could happen if it works out. I get to be with my best friend, the person who makes me the most happy, every day. I'm going to try. :)
Good luck! I hope everything turns out well! :)
please follow up! I'm sure we are all interested in his response.
This reminds me of how I met my wife. I was in the same situation as you and I took that leap and we've been married almost 2 years.
Good luck!!! I hope you end up together :) post another comment if you do!
Good luck! Please update us on what happens.
Please tell us how it goes!!!!
That was beautiful.
Good luck, OP. Make sure to check in with us and let us know how it goes!
Well did it workout OP?
No that is so sad!!
:'( I really feel your pain, this is the exact same situation for me. I've loved the same guy for a lot of years, I date other people, but in only love him.... It really is of the most painful feelings. We don't wanna waste whatever relationship that we have with him by getting rejected or anything. It's horrible... :'(
I swear reading your comment is like reading the summary of my love life, or reading something I write myself. Especially then part about your flings :'( When you really love someone you can't have, you try desperately to replace them and to fill the void. It's so hard to find someone better than that person, in your eyes.
Still waiting to hear if you actually told him or not op..
If you're really that close and he cares about you as a friend it's unlikely it'll turn into something ugly. And nothing ventured nothing gained, surely it's better to take a chance than just assume he doesn't see you in that way any more?
jake_robbo
10
He is probably trying to hint to you in his own way that he wants you. He is just as scared about it as you are.
gurl you have got to tell him your feelings! he can't read your mind
VenusHeart
5
Make a profile without a picture and chat with him, tell him you have no picture till you know a guy likes you for your personality. Woo him then fess up with a picture. Or you could just try putting your heart out there and tell him how you feel. Maybe he only asks you for help because hes too scared to admit he likes you and its his way of saying he trusts you enough to be so open and close to you.
When he gets married, your friendship will not remain as it is now - hanging out for long hours, talking endlessly. So, why try to protect what can't live on? Take a risk. Give love a chance.
Make a profile on the same site. ..hope you two get matched...or just ask him.
Why did you not use the time spent helping him set up his profile to discuss your feelings about him. You coulda been sly and mentioned the qualities he was looking for that you had.
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Make your own profile and get his attention, OP!
These guys are saying to make your own profile, which is cute and all, but what if he finds someone else's before yours? No, the best option is to be upfront and talk to him about your feelings.