Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints...

By EconM - 03/10/2013 15:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 247

You deserved it 5 357

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

Fetishes come in all sizes

By unboned - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 603

You deserved it 2 833

By sirengamer - 14/06/2017 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 981

You deserved it 313

Money first

By Anonymus - 31/01/2020 20:00 - Canada - Warkworth

Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 328

By NoRingForMe - 18/07/2012 17:03 - United States - Stamford

Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 887

You deserved it 14 064

Classy guy

By NewlyDread - 06/02/2013 02:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 441

You deserved it 7 439

Foldin' money

By E_Sauce - 24/03/2019 12:00

Today, I went to the bank to get a jar of coins exchanged for cash via a fancy counter machine. After 30 minutes I was handed a bag of rolling sleeves and was told to do it myself. Good news, I have a lot more money than I thought. Bad news, I have A LOT more coins than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 382

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 059

You deserved it 893

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

By Anonymous - 02/09/2016 14:50 - United Kingdom - Shepton Mallet

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 692

You deserved it 1 974

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 225

You deserved it 9 907

ThatGuyWhoTalks 10

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:04

He gets turned on by money, now you know what to use to get him to have sex with you. Oh wait that's prostitution

niftyismybitch 21

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:05

maybe its just a roll of coins...

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:08

Damn. Is he like Scrooge McDuck, jumping into the piles of money?

horneyhic 15

Friday 4 October 2013 6:13

I would so do this If I could

xzeldax3 18

Friday 4 October 2013 16:33

Idk, it seems like it would be pretty painful.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:08

Are you sure it wasn't just a roll of silver dollars in his pants? ;)

kayydb7 14

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:11

Or a roll of dimes.

Enslaved 36

Friday 4 October 2013 0:07

Ugh! Sucks when you think your comment is so witty and original only to find out others beat you to the punch! ): So what about. . . Head or tail must be a real-- toss up!

londoner86 13

Saturday 15 November 2014 22:11

7 didn't beat you to the punch, he made a much funnier joke.

grghillis96 15

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:09

I bet you showed him a good dime

baba01_fml 17

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:12

Put a $20 bill in your ****** and tell him to enjoy himself.

Welshite 39

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:15

That is vile. Just thinking a about the amount of germs on a single bill makes me shudder. Please don't insert something like that into your body.

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:16

Appropriate measures can be taken to clean it.

Welshite 39

Thursday 3 October 2013 19:37

Licking bills clean for essence of stripper is neither hygienic nor practical, Pleonasm. I know you're an expert at that sort of thing, but we mustn't encourage such behavior.