Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close...

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By Kwalker3 - 06/05/2012 06:39 - United States - Tracy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 424

You deserved it 4 161

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Same thing different taste

By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 843

You deserved it 8 749

By anonymous - 08/12/2011 10:37 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 158

You deserved it 4 299

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 216

You deserved it 8 230

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 518

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 494

Not now, Yoda

By iwassoclose - 10/04/2013 16:32 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 794

You deserved it 8 812

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 688

You deserved it 69 162

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 521

You deserved it 5 024

Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 8 806

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 05:31 - United States

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 983

You deserved it 7 290

llamafish 25

Sunday 6 May 2012 15:43

He must have learned from online ****.

Hon3y_schnucums 1

Sunday 6 May 2012 15:48

The next time your ontop and he's close go "If you'd like to see more buy a subscription for only 59.99 for two months" ahah

Comments

ShutUpAndStare 7

Sunday 6 May 2012 23:03

Bad joke eel to the rescue!

arlo1024 0

Sunday 6 May 2012 23:38

Like a boss

Vaginabutter 15

Sunday 6 May 2012 23:56

I think he needs to upgrade his "hardware".

TarieBoo 2

Monday 7 May 2012 0:10

"going no where since we reached the climax"....

Colonel_Lexi 18

Monday 7 May 2012 5:07

93-I think you mean "going nowhere fast, we've reached the climax"

jaredofmo 22

Monday 7 May 2012 0:58

The FML doesn't specify if OP is a guy or girl. Probably a girl, but a whole lot of these comments would be weird if it was a guy.

amandalynn120 2

Monday 7 May 2012 2:37

What does buffering mean?

Thunderflex 0

Monday 7 May 2012 3:00

I did the same thing before super funny but I said would u like to try this move I seen lmao

Thuban 0

Monday 7 May 2012 5:18

What a dick move.

Snazzy_Snaz 17

Monday 7 May 2012 6:04

LLLAAAGGGG

austin101123 3

Monday 7 May 2012 6:17

Lol, I do the same kind of joke when people try to show me something. I'm like, "Wait, my eyes are buffering.

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Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 494

You deserved it 5 437

Today, I woke up in the ER after constant coughing and pneumonia made me pass out. I told my boss I was in the hospital with an infection and 235/163 blood pressure, so I wouldn’t be in. His response was, “So, you are a lazy POS and expect your colleagues to cover you?” I’d quit if my health was better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 155

The Top

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 293

You deserved it 4 702

Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 314

You deserved it 6 491

Today, I caught a cold. Turns out that the neighbours who have noisy children have also caught COVID and have to isolate for a week. I not only have to deal with a cold, but I have to overhear kids shows and crying through the thin wall dividing our houses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 913

Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 710

You deserved it 3 698

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 110

You deserved it 20 431

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 216

You deserved it 3 912