Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex...

By Anon. - 07/02/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 057

You deserved it 7 786

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Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

By CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 235

You deserved it 2 209

By fml_for_real - 04/02/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 271

You deserved it 6 918

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 06:26 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 168

You deserved it 4 518

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 092

You deserved it 6 260

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 609

Read the room

By pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 111

You deserved it 5 623

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 646

You deserved it 7 140

Creepy

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 046

You deserved it 50 911

Mr Loverman

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:01

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 297

Caught a stray bullet

By cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 016

You deserved it 17 811

hellblade36 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:03

necrophilia much?

tnlander 20

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

maybe you're too noisy op and he just wanted a few minutes to enjoy himself.

Comments

noellexxsummers 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:10

If my boyfriend was into necrophilia...I would definitely break up with him. Majorly creepy.

sucks4u918 4

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:12

wow, that's disgusting

thebigblue 2

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:23

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE NOW. DUDE IS CRAZY!!!!

hotscar 3

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:32

my thoughts exactly when I read this...

SuBiE21 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:32

That is really creepy... maybe try finding someone that doesn't want to have sex with a corpse... weirdo...

ladypnk85 2

Tuesday 8 February 2011 4:57

Run away!!!!

wlaaf 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:14

that's weird.

jar_89 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:38

Hahahaha I think that's funny, but weird.

yeahreally 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:39

Well. Uhm. Try it? And if you absolutely hate it, never do it again. Or if you're just so freaked out don't. Simple.

dansco 24

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:46

You fella is very sick! He either likes sex with dead people or roofie sex :(

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I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

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The Top

Today, a new coworker asked me how to pronounce my name and made a dismissive remark that, "all Asian names are so hard to pronounce and they all sound the same." My name is Christopher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 859

You deserved it 263

Today, I applied some things I learned reading a "How to please a woman" book. My wife was in heaven until it was over, then she started crying and yelling about the only way I would learn those things is if I was having an affair. I explained but she doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 041

You deserved it 2 654

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 029

You deserved it 4 304

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 032

You deserved it 3 916

Today, I wanted to go shopping in my new car that I bought just a month ago. When I stepped outside, I saw someone had smashed the driver side's window. They didn't even steal anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 72

Today, after 10 hours of radio silence, my boyfriend of one month, who pursued me for almost a year and spent the last two days at my sister's wedding weekend being introduced to my family, wants to give his ex another chance after sleeping with her during their "talk about their arrangements for their son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 266