Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants.... - FML

By Username - 27/06/2011 08:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 490

You deserved it 7 767

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Same thing different taste

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 030

Oh, hello

By kikuhime - 17/01/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 114

Hand shandy

By cdoyle - 08/04/2009 12:32 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 518

You deserved it 110 702

By DuChaillu - 27/01/2010 07:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 177

You deserved it 27 860

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 06:21

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 5 645

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Spicy

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 331

You deserved it 2 301

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Spicy

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 6 832

Timing

By Anonymous - 16/03/2020 00:11 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came out of the closet. In the middle of us having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 375

You deserved it 269

By vsshopper - 22/02/2012 19:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 212

You deserved it 3 873

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 755

You deserved it 5 994

Next

Top comments

genesisnirvana 11

Monday 27 June 2011 15:57

was there any foreplay?

DudeImBetter 0

Monday 27 June 2011 16:58

you better not tell his friends or he'll say you're a ****, plus it was you're fault you were rubbing his butt, he's just very sensitive some would say it's a plus.

Comments

KCPixel 0

Monday 27 June 2011 23:50

remember what you did, it might come in handy for when he's really in the mood and you're not.

katiee213 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:01

came where?

nyssx 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 1:16

from narnia ..

Captainpanda55 1

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:06

And so you thought to share that information on here. Good job, bitch.

cgreen13 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:11

all that means is you get to make him go again lol

KittyVengeance 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:40

and then he jizzed in his pants x]

infinite_chris 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:53

I'm sensitive, someone said that's a plus!

nyssx 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 1:10

his phone alarm went off to remind him he had to call his parents after he was done .

termsofbroken 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 1:13

wtf

hallezra 3

Tuesday 28 June 2011 1:42

ouch!!! lol

TheJoker9810 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 1:50

foreplay? :o

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Keywords

Weddings Miscellaneous Awkward My ex Love AITA Friends Jealousy Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Argument Covid Thanksgiving Kids Parenting Medication Ironic Cute Proposal Sports Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 356

You deserved it 4 298

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

The Top

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 593

You deserved it 3 096

Today, I woke up and got ready for class. I let the dogs outside while I got ready, then brought them back in. As I was putting my shoes on, I felt something warm and mushy. One of my dogs had pooped in my shoe right as I was leaving. I missed the city bus and was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 187

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date night down a dirt road to a field in the middle of nowhere. He packed some blankets, a bottle of wine, and some condoms. He didn't know the dirt road was actually a driveway until all of our clothes were off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 782

You deserved it 13 424

Today, I learned that the three secretaries at work make spreadsheets about who uses the toilets, when and for how long, and then make bets on who will take the longest toilet break, who will use it the most often, etc. Now I constantly look at my watch whenever I use the toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 777

You deserved it 1 273

Today, I saw the guy I have a crush on kissing a blonde chick. He'd turned me down because he “wasn’t into blondes”. I’m a blonde myself. When I confronted him about it, he told me, “Oh, I should have been more specific. I’m not into blondes who have a face like Sid the Sloth and a body like Shamu.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 781

Today, after months of my girlfriend crying about cockroaches, I finally called and paid for an exterminator. Now she's furious at me for "making decisions for her" and she keeps pointing out that, since she owns the house, what I did was technically illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 125