Love: Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone...

By hahahehehohohoo - 07/02/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324 365

You deserved it 58 652

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/05/2012 12:07 - Israel - Ramat Hasharon

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 165

You deserved it 8 757

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 560

You deserved it 5 052

Wakey wakey

By DanJames24 - 24/05/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Southsea

Today, my flatmate woke me up early, saying there was a fire and we had to evacuate. Barely awake, she practically dragged me downstairs and got to the front door. Once we got there, she opened the front door, kneed me in the nuts, and pushed me out, locking it behind her. I was only in boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 161

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 396

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 619

You deserved it 43 663

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 203

You deserved it 3 113

By Ignorant - 07/10/2017 06:00

Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 998

You deserved it 896

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 21:20 - United States

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 206

You deserved it 3 465

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 29 795

Some people just don't like surprises

By alone and horny - 20/06/2020 20:01

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 1 727

xXxRandiexXx 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 13:32

I would dump him. he just left you there!!!

Pewsily 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 14:19

Hahaha, this made my day!

Comments

crownlogic 25

Thursday 13 October 2011 8:30

...because cheating on him and getting "revenge" will improve humanity and couples standards so much. The best way to get back at him is to break up with him and find an obviously better guy who treats you right.

ravens_embrace 2

Wednesday 26 October 2011 19:25

ROFL this is why you need to make sure you have the key BEFORE allowing him to chain you up.

Palomina9 2

Friday 4 November 2011 22:29

That just made my day!!

lindseyross93 2

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:14

Well, at least you didnt get kicked out. At my school you would. But, the fire alarm went off at 3 one morning, and I went to bed in a sports bra and short shorts. It was a lot colder outside, and at least my entire dorm and the dorm next door saw me, freezing, in pjs. Without shoes.

ericplaystrumpet 1

Friday 23 December 2011 5:32

Was there fire down below? ;)

The_sacrificer 5

Friday 30 December 2011 1:36

can u do it again but this time take a video

killajayson 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 1:27

Haha ^^^ I agree!!:)

zombiegold 23

Friday 30 December 2011 2:00

WTF?

HelloKitty14321 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 3:46

Hahah That Awkward Moment When The FireMan Finds You Naked Chained To The Bed

o_abcdefghijk_o 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 21:19

This made me laugh! xD but that's messed up he could've covered you with a blanket or something, and I wonder what the fireman was thinking when he seen you xD!!