Love: Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone...

By hahahehehohohoo - 07/02/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324 364

You deserved it 58 651

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/05/2012 12:07 - Israel - Ramat Hasharon

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 165

You deserved it 8 757

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 560

You deserved it 5 052

Wakey wakey

By DanJames24 - 24/05/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Southsea

Today, my flatmate woke me up early, saying there was a fire and we had to evacuate. Barely awake, she practically dragged me downstairs and got to the front door. Once we got there, she opened the front door, kneed me in the nuts, and pushed me out, locking it behind her. I was only in boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 161

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 396

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 619

You deserved it 43 663

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 203

You deserved it 3 113

By Ignorant - 07/10/2017 06:00

Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 998

You deserved it 896

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 21:20 - United States

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 206

You deserved it 3 465

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 29 795

Some people just don't like surprises

By alone and horny - 20/06/2020 20:01

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 1 727

xXxRandiexXx 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 13:32

I would dump him. he just left you there!!!

Pewsily 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 14:19

Hahaha, this made my day!

Comments

AliSama 17

Sunday 22 February 2009 19:28

you mean your ex-boy friend?

sanchobaby 0

Monday 23 February 2009 7:16

oh my god that is awful! dump him ASAP

youhavenoidea 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 20:34

lmaoo you made my day i hope you banged that firefighter though

midnight_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 0:27

was the fireman hot? LOL

MCart_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 0:46

#60, I love the way you think, but I think sport/real cuffs are totally a matter of preference and what kind of mood you're trying to pull off ;)

drea11 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 1:22

OMG!! i'm sry, wat a douchie bf.

wildncrazyguy777 0

Monday 2 March 2009 20:49

what dorm are you in? haha

Miller_RS1 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 3:08

well if ur 18 im sure that u made that firefighters day

e_n_t_r_e 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 6:05

First off.... sportscuffs are a no.... real handcuffs are less comfy but if your handcuffed... why would want to be comfortable...? And the safe release or whatever is no fun. Its all about power and dominance and the safe release ruins that. Second off. Dump his ass. You could have died if that were a real fire. He obviously doesnt give a shit about you. Then again.... my gf would probably leave me cuffed if a fire alarm went off. Probably with something shoved halfway up my ass too. Baha. but I'd never dump her shes awesome. Ehhh. Go figure.

Sangue0608 26

Saturday 20 June 2015 20:29

So you like that your girlfriend shows you dominance and shoves things up your ass only to possibly leaving it there. Are you sure you want a girlfriend?