Sex, Sextoys and Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic...

By whorecrux - 02/07/2013 03:37 - United States - Newark

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 929

You deserved it 9 846

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 560

You deserved it 17 506

By ginny - 10/09/2009 17:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 262

You deserved it 8 253

By harrypottermuch - 26/11/2009 11:50 - Canada

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 342

You deserved it 43 096

By djl - 20/12/2012 05:30 - Canada - Beaumont

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 080

You deserved it 15 374

Alone time

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 12:12 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 960

You deserved it 3 773

Let me Slytherin

By Wisconsin love - 13/12/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 10 971

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 377

You deserved it 7 037

By trippybmth - 23/12/2014 00:54 - United States

Today, after doing tons of research on a wand my little brother wanted for Christmas, I finally found one on eBay for $60. After already giving my credit card info and confirming the purchase, my dad called me and told me he found the exact same one for six bucks at a local toy store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 711

You deserved it 6 926

By whovian - 25/12/2014 15:17 - United States - Gorham

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 549

You deserved it 4 635

Movie night

By nah - 11/06/2021 11:01

Today, my boyfriend finally convinced me to watch Harry Potter for the first time. I was bored out of my mind the entire time, and by about an hour in, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to punch Hermione for being a rude little know it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 1 718

xZoeAmethystx 12

Tuesday 2 July 2013 10:24

It's okay. Potterhead for life

drakem 7

Tuesday 2 July 2013 10:24

Can't blame you, Harry Potter is awesome!

Comments

katties 27

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:10

I'm a big Harry Potter fan, but I don't think the Hitatshi will disappoint ;)

Fmlreadermostly 20

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:45

Lol I like you both!

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:24

Spencer's gag gifts strike again...

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 2 July 2013 20:59

Your username is what makes this Fml funnier!

0_FYL_0 17

Tuesday 2 July 2013 21:25

Harry Potter forever! Don't worry, OP, I bought a Harry Potter wand that cost £20, and all my friends made fun of me for it, but it was the best investment EVER, and proudly practice my spells every week! Seriously, be proud to be a Harry Potter fanatic, I sure am!