Geek: Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date...

By Discouraged - 06/01/2015 20:36 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 635

You deserved it 3 513

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 140

You deserved it 335

By Anonymous - 01/11/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 366

You deserved it 5 988

Lookalikes

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 13:58 - Germany - Bruchsal

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 93

My brother the Gigachad

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 06:01

Today, I thought my date last night went quite well, especially when she called me first thing this morning… until it turned out she wasn’t very impressed, and wanted my brother's number instead. The single, successful lawyer, who is 6 inches taller than me, who she saw on my Facebook page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 16/01/2012 16:10 - United States

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 341

You deserved it 38 411

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:33 - United States - North Little Rock

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 609

You deserved it 2 069

Mixed signals

By max - 07/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 431

You deserved it 2 984

By tramp - 10/11/2013 05:51 - United States

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 326

You deserved it 19 650

By Discouraged - 31/05/2012 12:43 - United States - Rockville

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 2 649

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 814

You deserved it 58 529

ElMachoNacho 18

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:06

And he will probably never find that perfect girl, and he will bother you forever :D

carecow 16

Wednesday 7 January 2015 0:07

I guess your brother aint much of a personality fan, sorry to hear that.

Comments

GreekYogurt 26

Saturday 15 August 2015 0:12

As long as you're morals are intact, you shouldn't be ashamed.

blackjackandcoke 9

Saturday 30 April 2016 0:57

Not for nothing OP, but your brother sounds like a vapid asshole.

band13geek 16

Friday 13 May 2016 3:37

For your sake, OP, I'm hoping that he's either joking or adopted.

KupKate95 9

Thursday 10 November 2016 4:40

I'm so glad my brother isn't that shallow.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 647

You deserved it 1 159

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 1 228

The Top

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 438

You deserved it 4 479

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper at me for the first time ever after 2 years of dating, and actually raised his voice. It turned me on, and I don’t just mean on, I mean OOONNNNNN. I was so wet it ran down my thighs and made an obvious damp spot in my jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 1 089

Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 226

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 260

You deserved it 5 853

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 889

You deserved it 34 981

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 676

You deserved it 33 477