Kids: Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every... - FML

By soannoyed - 22/09/2013 21:21 - United States

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 725

You deserved it 4 410

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Stu - 19/06/2012 09:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 684

You deserved it 2 767

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 06:06 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 527

You deserved it 6 384

Buzzwords

By Lori_ftw - 27/02/2014 03:28 - United States - Oakland

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 894

You deserved it 3 673

Take it seriously

By Sis in crisis - 27/10/2024 03:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 138

By everore - 25/12/2012 18:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 072

You deserved it 3 467

By swervelol - 14/07/2016 19:06

Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been making up songs about farts and singing them non-stop. He's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 1 107

By yeah_im_mad_bro - 24/09/2011 00:32 - Canada

Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 5 467

By poopexperttt - 07/09/2012 07:12 - United States

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 559

You deserved it 2 446

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 04:01 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 322

You deserved it 2 586

By finalfantasy - 21/06/2018 17:30 - United States - Aurora

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 852

You deserved it 267

Next

Top comments

jjsaunders32 6

Monday 23 September 2013 2:51

Just say #myfootupyourass

CommentModerated 17

Monday 23 September 2013 2:51

Am I the only one who still calls it "pound"?

Comments

Sal_G_63 5

Monday 23 September 2013 10:17

Know what you should do? Punch him in the #throat.

WingedApollo 12

Monday 23 September 2013 10:21

#douchebagsayswhat

Obezyanka12 6

Monday 23 September 2013 12:39

Welp, lets see if next generation is better... (Please be better.)

zomgbies 17

Monday 23 September 2013 15:53

#OhSnapYou'reGettingTrolled

jacoposki 14

Monday 23 September 2013 18:12

#MaybeHesTryingToTellYouSomething

xRezSynn 15

Monday 23 September 2013 19:13

#thatmustbereallyannoyingimsorryop

ulissey_fml 22

Monday 23 September 2013 23:10

Pack him off to France, over here we have to call it "mot dièse", that should cure him fast !

greenbaybuddy 2

Tuesday 24 September 2013 6:52

Hashtag ##########

laden_swallow09 34

Tuesday 24 September 2013 21:34

Punch his jaw. Hard.

blackonblight 32

Wednesday 25 September 2013 20:54

Give him two light smacks in the mouth next time he does it and say you were just trying to double click the hashtag. Don't hit too hard, you want it to be more annoying than painful, since if he doesn't stop 'tagging' you won't stop 'clicking'

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Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 58

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

The Top

Today, I was FaceTiming with my mum when she interrupted me to ask who 'the man behind me' was. I live alone, so I had a bit of a jump scare moment. She was so proud of her 'hilarious' prank, her laugh still haunts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 83

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 882

You deserved it 3 452

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 171

You deserved it 5 487

Today, my best friends became friends with my ex-girlfriend, saying she was really nice. I found this to be an awful lot of BS because my ex didn't even like me, and liked someone else while dating me. That was an arsehole move. My friends all became friendly with her, disregarding my presence, and saying she's "so nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 195

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years in front of the sell-out crowd at the baseball game, but at the security checkpoint, the security guard made me take the ring out and open it after I walked through the metal detector. No need to say it, worst proposal ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 991

You deserved it 1 896

Today, while drinking and catching up with a ex that I still love, she invited a guy over, flirted with him right in front of me, then went home with him, When I messaged her to say I found it disrespectful as fuck, she replied with sorry, she didn’t mean to hurt me, and that she misses me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 1 366