Kids: Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every...

By soannoyed - 22/09/2013 21:21 - United States

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 725

You deserved it 4 410

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Same thing different taste

By Stu - 19/06/2012 09:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 684

You deserved it 2 767

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 06:06 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 527

You deserved it 6 384

Buzzwords

By Lori_ftw - 27/02/2014 03:28 - United States - Oakland

Today, my store manager thought that it would improve morale to talk in hashtags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 894

You deserved it 3 673

Take it seriously

By Sis in crisis - 27/10/2024 03:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 138

By everore - 25/12/2012 18:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 072

You deserved it 3 467

By swervelol - 14/07/2016 19:06

Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been making up songs about farts and singing them non-stop. He's 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 1 107

By yeah_im_mad_bro - 24/09/2011 00:32 - Canada

Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 5 467

By poopexperttt - 07/09/2012 07:12 - United States

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 559

You deserved it 2 446

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 04:01 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 322

You deserved it 2 586

By finalfantasy - 21/06/2018 17:30 - United States - Aurora

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 852

You deserved it 267

jjsaunders32 6

Monday 23 September 2013 2:51

Just say #myfootupyourass

CommentModerated 17

Monday 23 September 2013 2:51

Am I the only one who still calls it "pound"?

Comments

EthanOnweller 6

Wednesday 25 September 2013 22:49

YESH!!

AllyCady14 5

Thursday 26 September 2013 2:57

try all the kids in your grade #ALL DAY LONG

mr_blox2427 1

Thursday 10 October 2013 4:01

Hashtags are completely useless.

pfft123 14

Wednesday 6 November 2013 21:18

Sounds like someone watched Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake together.... xD

imlifeless2 25

Friday 8 November 2013 3:43

the #irony of that comment is just #sickening

fantasyworld 37

Wednesday 23 July 2014 13:50

Punch him.

JH159753 21

Sunday 3 August 2014 5:27

#hashtags suck

BlackFire4890 16

Tuesday 3 March 2015 4:45

I think you should hashtag him upside his head

pandasauresrex 13

Wednesday 12 August 2015 18:14

#killitwithfire

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Thursday 10 August 2017 6:55

#thatSucks #heIsDumb #hashtag #I'mOutOfHashtags

Keywords

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The Top

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 700

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 148

The Top

Today, my nana died today of a heart attack in her sleep. I’ll never know if there was something I could have done, because while it was happening I was upstairs with a dildo, as it’s been a month since I had sex and I had the urge. I feel so selfish and ashamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 291

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 550

You deserved it 4 611

Today, I thought it would be a good idea for me and my colleague to fuck in the bathroom that no one uses. Turns out, the president of the company, who was here for a visit, had picked the perfect day to use it. Now we’re jobless and potentially spouseless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 1 720

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 474

You deserved it 18 538

Today, I wore leggings without underwear. When I got in the car after a busy shopping day, I realized that my pubes had poked through the fabric and my bush was on the outside of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 2 164

Today, I was caught up in an armed robbery and after talking to the cops, my boss cut my pay for being 2 hours late. After I trudged home and told my parents, they are now forcing me to sleep in a tent in the garden, just in case the robber gave me COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 153

Same thing different taste

Buzzwords

Take it seriously

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