Kids and Health: Today, my brother gave me a massive rope burn. He got a 30-second...

By Puggle1019 - 17/07/2018 20:30

Today, my brother gave me a massive rope burn. He got a 30-second talk with our mother. I got an allergic reaction to the lotion used to ease the pain. My mother said I was overreacting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 690

You deserved it 266

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Roommates from hell, part 4874

By Ohgodithurts - 19/10/2020 11:00

Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 163

By anonymous - 10/02/2010 20:59 - United States

Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 055

You deserved it 2 756

Creamed

By Anonymous - 15/10/2021 02:00

Today, I had a heat rash on my crotch. I asked my mom for cortisone cream. While I was putting it on, it suddenly started burning. It turns out she gave me arthritis cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 184

Time to go topless I guess...

By aubrey - 14/10/2017 01:30

Today, I accidentally gave myself a chemical burn. It hurts like hell and I've been told all I can do is wait it out for a few days. The worst part? It's from a reaction to a cream I used all over my chest. I can't wear a shirt without being in immense pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 217

You deserved it 329

Paul Blurt

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 16:01

Today, I had various items thrown at me all day at school, one one of which was a ruler that landed flat on my back where I had blistered and peeling sunburn. I yelped, "Motherf***er!" because of the pain, and I was the one given detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 12/12/2011 20:23 - United States

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 481

You deserved it 3 715

By Anonymous - 11/10/2012 19:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 429

You deserved it 3 040

By sexxibxmami - 19/02/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 082

You deserved it 3 727

Fight me

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 06:53 - United States

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 760

You deserved it 25 579

By ReallyRyan? - 01/09/2018 06:00

Today, my younger brother sat on some poison ivy. He didn't have any symptoms because he's pretty much immune to it. Also today, my boyfriend had to run to the ER because he got poison ivy on his genitalia. I knew they spent way too much time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 247

You deserved it 347

chris_lillo 15

Tuesday 17 July 2018 20:33

How did he give you a rope burn? If it was a sincere accident you cant expect your mom to give him some huge punishment.

commandpriority 5

Tuesday 17 July 2018 20:56

I honestly read this as rug burn. Then I wondered if I was suddenly in the south

Comments

chris_lillo 15

Tuesday 17 July 2018 20:33

How did he give you a rope burn? If it was a sincere accident you cant expect your mom to give him some huge punishment.

Lisa Alexandria 10

Tuesday 17 July 2018 20:41

Dogs will be dogs!! 🤷🏻‍♀️

commandpriority 5

Tuesday 17 July 2018 20:56

I honestly read this as rug burn. Then I wondered if I was suddenly in the south

blondie45 21

Tuesday 17 July 2018 21:11

What are you, like 10 or something? Even old enough to be on FML?

d3rpb0t 10

Wednesday 18 July 2018 5:46

Technically, she wasn't wrong, it was just your immune system overreacting. ...jokes aside, that sucks OP. Hopefully you've recovered by now.

lucidinferno 12

Wednesday 18 July 2018 7:11

How does one accidentally get rope burn?

Davros 12

Wednesday 18 July 2018 10:50

Your mom KNOWS you have no problem putting that lotion on a friction burn

PhoenixChick 26

Friday 20 July 2018 15:58

speaking of burns...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 248

You deserved it 79 267

Today, I was supposed to meet up with a girl I met on a dating app and had been chatting with. We exchanged the classic, "I'll be here and wearing this." At the location, a girl from a distance, wearing the described outfit, was checking me out. I immediately bailed out. Not only she is 9, she is also a student of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 93

The Top

Today, I was advised to never have kids because they ruin your life, ruin your body, cost you money, stress you out, and the end result is they become an adult you don’t even really like or would choose to spend time with if you weren’t related. It was both my parents who gave me this advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 244

Today, I sat in my room on the computer instead of attending the party of the year. I got kicked out because I wasn't invited. The party was in my back yard, hosted by my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 366

You deserved it 4 158

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 117

You deserved it 4 856

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 424

You deserved it 2 835

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 975

You deserved it 42 214

Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 1 616