Dogs and Animals: Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than...

By Noname - 18/02/2009 02:52 - United States

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 790

You deserved it 3 693

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Same thing different taste

By MH. - 24/01/2014 12:36 - Norway - Sandnes

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 017

You deserved it 3 971

By the un-loved child - 28/07/2013 22:34 - United States - Salida

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 693

You deserved it 3 975

Love is love

By Taylor505 - 07/10/2024 08:00 - United States - Ocala

Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 96

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 8 506

By krt - 03/10/2010 23:29 - United States

Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 089

You deserved it 7 804

By emma_waters23 - 26/04/2013 00:11 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 829

You deserved it 6 005

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 09:42 - United States

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 839

You deserved it 5 164

By fattie4life - 20/07/2009 22:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 158

You deserved it 8 074

By hopeless romantic - 14/08/2014 15:06 - United States - Dayton

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 167

You deserved it 5 542

By Dasani - 16/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 445

You deserved it 9 006

elguapo_fml 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 14:30

so you're dog is more purebred than you - what does that say about your parents?

zidane312 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 12:18

lol, it depends. What kind of dog was it?

Comments

ronton 4

Saturday 17 July 2010 6:38

I now love ur mom

turkeymonster39 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 3:04

I like your mom and you shouldn't have set yourself up like that lol

ernodea 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 6:07

this

Uncle_Moe_Lester 3

Sunday 17 April 2011 7:24

I bet ur obese

signuploginpassw 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 23:06

holy **** im sick of fmls from people who just cant take a joke!

Carlie_McCartney 1

Saturday 23 July 2011 15:01

Me gusta hahahaha that's funny. But sorry...that's terrible D:

CountJugular 3

Friday 23 September 2011 9:36

Your moms way of telling you that you came from the milkman?

NDxEAGLE 4

Monday 26 December 2011 23:45

That must be one fine bitch

ManlyDunsparce 3

Friday 20 January 2012 18:39

NOTHING BEATS A PURE BREAD OP! That dog must look like canine Jesus. The ripped one, not that dead version.

sasha_is_my_name 5

Friday 27 January 2012 2:29

Hahah, go mom!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 350

You deserved it 8 250

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, nine months after changing my entire life when my father had a stroke and I became his carer full time, I called my sister to talk about some his irrational behavior. All I got in response was, "I just watched a sad movie, I can't deal with this right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 836

You deserved it 141

Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 185

You deserved it 1 856

Cheerleading? No... This is Sparta!

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 94

Today, I texted sweet nothings to a phone number written on the side of my tumble dryer, thinking my crush had left it there, all cute like. Turns out the phone number belongs to my landlord’s maintenance guy, who was not at all flattered by my midnight serenade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 1 475

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 657

You deserved it 2 027

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 915

You deserved it 5 346

Same thing different taste

Love is love

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