Animals: Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast.... - FML

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 927

You deserved it 4 622

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Same thing different taste

By cdn_steed - 23/04/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 972

You deserved it 4 661

Rise and shine

By Anonymous - 29/04/2020 08:00

Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 500

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 318

Cujo, but for cats

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 08:01

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 301

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 253

You deserved it 5 275

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 328

By tornkhakis - 24/02/2014 07:20 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 198

You deserved it 4 176

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 778

You deserved it 31 287

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 624

You deserved it 1 064

Next

Top comments

nswan 5

Thursday 28 October 2010 19:50

lucky cat...

steelersfan32 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 20:24

ydi for having boobs hard enough for a cat to sharpen them on.

Comments

iwuvmydime 2

Monday 1 November 2010 2:21

my cat does the same thing!

mcskittles828 0

Friday 5 November 2010 1:21

hahaa my cat does exactly the same thingg

robint 2

Friday 5 November 2010 7:32

smart cat

ThickHead 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 3:43

cats only do that on hard stuff aka you got tuff boobies xD

miume16 0

Monday 9 May 2011 1:26

ouch!!!

LIVE2FAIL 0

Monday 30 May 2011 5:22

KITTY MOTORBOAT!!!

llamakidderp 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 5:45

Yesterday, my cat showed her appreciation and excitement over the porkchop I was feeding her by biting my thumb as I was handing her a bite. Cats can be painful to own, lOl

BigMacBoi 3

Sunday 31 July 2011 2:37

You only have one breast?

ZeroIce 12

Monday 22 August 2011 4:53

it claimed you

sataris20 5

Wednesday 19 October 2011 16:26

Yeah, ouch!!!! Your life sux. I'm sorry! That's just cold cat

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I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 115

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I agree, your life sucks 37 423

You deserved it 8 519