Animals: Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast.... - FML

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 927

You deserved it 4 622

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Same thing different taste

By cdn_steed - 23/04/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 972

You deserved it 4 661

Rise and shine

By Anonymous - 29/04/2020 08:00

Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 500

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 318

Cujo, but for cats

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 08:01

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 301

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 253

You deserved it 5 275

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 328

By tornkhakis - 24/02/2014 07:20 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 198

You deserved it 4 176

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 778

You deserved it 31 287

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 624

You deserved it 1 064

Next

Top comments

nswan 5

Thursday 28 October 2010 19:50

lucky cat...

steelersfan32 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 20:24

ydi for having boobs hard enough for a cat to sharpen them on.

Comments

wwerulez14 6

Friday 29 October 2010 2:29

Bow chika wow wow...

maphineRAWRS 10

Friday 29 October 2010 2:36

owowowowowowowowowowow that would be so freaking painful.. haha

elmorous 0

Friday 29 October 2010 2:46

what were you doing to encourage this? perhaps you touched your pussy, and this is the response you got. there's nothing quite as satisfying for your pussy than a gentle touch in just the right place.

Brooke4494 0

Friday 29 October 2010 3:10

lol that happened to me

TheB0a 5

Friday 29 October 2010 3:12

That must of hurt. Well think of it this way, your boobs must of been so soft that the cat wanted to nap on them. Yes ?

HAHAFYLx2 0

Friday 29 October 2010 3:39

Haha the cat got to 2nd base pretty quick ;)

dannoman 0

Friday 29 October 2010 3:52

thats how i want to wake you up too...how strange

crazyboob 0

Friday 29 October 2010 4:46

sss ooooh ouch!!

gryarya 0

Friday 29 October 2010 4:47

are you ok? I wouldn't know that kinda pain imma dude.

Jojoo13_fml 0

Friday 29 October 2010 5:18

Reading that made my boobs hurt :( hahaha

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I agree, your life sucks 40 377

You deserved it 3 034

Today, while cat-sitting at a very nice house, I noticed an outlet had started smoking. I called 911 and got it taken care of, but the homeowners want me to pay for the electrician, since it happened while I was there. They only paid me $40 for the weekend and the electrician wants $350. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 108

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 698

You deserved it 6 914