Miscellaneous: Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs.... - FML

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By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 578

You deserved it 7 676

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 432

You deserved it 10 274

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 745

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 851

You deserved it 5 156

By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 271

You deserved it 2 655

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 737

You deserved it 10 942

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 526

You deserved it 16 152

By perverted teenage girl - 29/11/2016 21:51

Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 108

You deserved it 1 914

By Mojo - 14/12/2009 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 568

You deserved it 5 190

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 850

You deserved it 5 290

Prankster

By longlostkid556 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 710

You deserved it 5 889

Next

Top comments

daybid 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:21

Well that stinks!

anzie_fml 9

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:22

That's a very interesting way for him to be greeting you, especially if you're still just calling him your "crush"... O.o

Comments

ih82bl8 2

Monday 16 January 2012 7:34

This went on my favorites

insanelyXnikki 18

Monday 16 January 2012 8:12

Honestly I don't blame you, that wasn't really your fault haha

AugustBurnsToast 14

Monday 16 January 2012 10:36

Hot :ppp

chitown23 4

Monday 16 January 2012 15:09

Wait girls dont fart

JJAY2011 6

Monday 16 January 2012 16:09

I think that might just be the funniest things I have ever heard.

kaka11 3

Monday 16 January 2012 16:23

What kind of guy just grabs a girls ass like that? I mean she refers to him as "crush" so this must mean that they are not together which seems kinda ****** up to just grab a girls ass...

TheLoneWolf87 4

Monday 16 January 2012 18:04

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind.

AlexBblah 10

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:24

You gave him pink eye. Lol jk thats a bummer blame it on a food.

YagerMiester95 8

Tuesday 17 January 2012 6:55

If I was him I probably would have died laughing.

haleyscott54321 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 8:37

I have no idea how much I laughed when I read this....

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Today, I received a call from my employer. They found that some of my nudes have surfaced on the internet. Personal nudes and videos I took exclusively for my boyfriend. He denies he put them out there. Then who did? How stupid does he think I am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 095

You deserved it 601

Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 774

The Top

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 90

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 531

You deserved it 12 534

Today, I was helping my elderly landlady (75 years old) carry in her groceries. She said "Thanks" and then handed me a notice of eviction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 558

You deserved it 5 291

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 130

You deserved it 6 470

Today, I sat through 9 gruelling hours of Star Wars with my boyfriend. I hate those movies with a passion and frankly would rather get a pap smear from Wolverine than watch them. Afterwards, he dumped me for yawning, saying that I didn’t take a “serious” interest in his favorite things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 1 185

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 278

You deserved it 140 519