Animals: Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our...

By katie06 - 28/10/2010 06:39 - United States

Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 118

You deserved it 5 724

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 19:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 251

You deserved it 3 504

Sigma

By DumbassRoaster - 10/07/2016 19:44 - United States - Fairview

Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 593

You deserved it 1 729

By Dogsbody - 27/05/2019 02:30

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 250

By kacysospacyy - 15/07/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his 15 year-old daughter, the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 066

You deserved it 4 848

Good boy

By Johndoe - 30/10/2021 20:00

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 158

Never forget

By OhhhNooo - 14/03/2010 23:23 - United States

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 874

You deserved it 2 437

By the un-loved child - 28/07/2013 22:34 - United States - Salida

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 693

You deserved it 3 975

Alexa, play "Ghosts" by Japan

By stuckathome - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 262

You deserved it 2 805

By Florida - 27/10/2010 18:46 - United States

Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 130

You deserved it 2 940

Vicious dog

By onefmlafteranother - 15/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 585

rebbee 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 16:24

YDI for calling your child McKinley.

purplecowchik 5

Thursday 28 October 2010 16:08

YDI. Time to move out already!

Comments

cereal_dater 5

Tuesday 2 November 2010 9:12

Why the hell would you call your daught McKinly?! Sounds more like a last name or a cheapass version of McDonald('s)

sherivengeance 3

Wednesday 3 November 2010 14:12

you must be a pretty shitty person! I bet your kid is ace though :p

MeasaV123 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 2:09

YDI for naming your kid McKinley

ahole1212 3

Thursday 7 April 2011 15:33

YDI for naming your kid McKinley

Discoerd 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 9:57

sounds like its time to lay down the law, lol

Termanator141 12

Friday 12 August 2011 7:17

******...

llamalpaca382 13

Saturday 24 September 2011 18:49

I like the name McKinley. I don't see anything wrong with it...

TrippingOnAcid 29

Monday 30 January 2012 0:19

I'm sorry, but who calls their child McKinley?

TrippingOnAcid 29

Monday 30 January 2012 0:19

I'm sorry, but who calls their child McKinley?

eakthegeek 11

Sunday 4 March 2012 0:05

I like the name mckinley

Keywords

Animals Cats Christmas Health Embarrassing Awkward Work Love Boredom Anniversary Ironic Intimacy Abuse Alcohol Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Drunk Gun control Kids Parents Language Mysterious Noise Relatable Money Miscellaneous Delivery Food Family

The Top

Today, I went onto my fiance's phone because I was seeing if a message was important enough go wake him up for. It wasn't important, but when I unlocked his phone, Facebook was already open with his female best friend's chat. He pretty much admitted to her that he still has feelings and that she's a better mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 156

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 150

You deserved it 6 979

The Top

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 752

You deserved it 2 324

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 338

You deserved it 19 745

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 316

You deserved it 13 180

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 045

You deserved it 18 790

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter and I work at a fish grill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 316

You deserved it 2 841

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 711

You deserved it 3 993