Intimacy: Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked...

By Anonymous - 10/02/2010 12:23 - United States

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 088

You deserved it 2 504

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Same thing different taste

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 500

You deserved it 4 176

Chubby life

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 583

You deserved it 295

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 506

You deserved it 4 074

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 546

You deserved it 3 107

By The fat and the ugly - 27/10/2011 18:56 - Finland

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 137

You deserved it 5 159

TMI Mom

By Why - 30/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I had the pleasure of listening to my mom tell me about how her and my dad's weight loss has helped them get more into it when they're being intimate. Suddenly I wish my parents were fat again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 289

By florisvanlent - 12/02/2009 16:17 - Netherlands

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 594

You deserved it 56 395

By Female_Lucifer - 20/10/2013 13:02 - United States - New Lebanon

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 373

You deserved it 5 178

Creepy but funny

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 850

You deserved it 3 102

By peaaaak - 03/06/2011 10:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 216

You deserved it 5 053

whiffleball 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 19:55

how do you know he got a hard on? are you checking out your dad's junk?

whitesoxsean 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 19:54

ur dads a pedo

Comments

Rhylin4 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:00

#3 how is he a pedo? she could be in college and over 18? I can't wait till I'm old enough to not care and stare at chicks bodies! yeeha!

Shesonfire94 2

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:01

haha this is more like f your friends life lmao so so srry

Emofluffinzhehe 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:02

perv dad superhero powers unite! form of- BESTIES BRA

EmoRanger0119 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:51

phaha emofluff

jim_bolicious 4

Sunday 30 September 2012 23:21

and now we play the waiting game.....

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:03

Tell Dave to steer clear of him for a while.

KurouTenshi 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:05

basically: FYL for having a pedo dad who needs help/sex and YDI for even taking mote of your dads junk now bring on the fat/incest/3some jokes :D

vincespektor 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:49

Dude ur a ****. boners aren't exactly hard to miss

Alex373 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 1:49

wincest

Sk3ith 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:07

lol xP reminds me of American Beauty. loved tht movie

PsychoMerk 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 0:20

that movie is so effing awesome :0

christys25 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:08

wow, your dads a perv! lol!

FMLihatemylife 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:10

that sucks so bad

Whiterabbitm1 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:14

wow the is a little messed up... but you should give your Dad your friends number lol

namnams 3

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:15

WIN!!!!

youngbutwise15 5

Wednesday 10 February 2010 20:16

Where's the World's Most Perverted Dad award when you need it?

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 653

The Top

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 345

You deserved it 2 972

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I looked sad. I told him that I found out a co-worker died over the weekend and I failed my final exam. He then informed me that my toilet was clogged again, that he had a lot of work to do, and left. I have to find a plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 600

You deserved it 3 118

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 082

You deserved it 45 335

Today, my neighbors threatened to sue me because a six-foot branch fell off one of my trees and into their yard, hitting nothing on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 218

You deserved it 232

Today, I had sex with this guy. His dad came upstairs and poked his head through the door right after we had finished, but were still naked in bed. All he said was, "No twins," and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 452

You deserved it 4 510

Today, I decided to go thrifting to save some money. Ironically, I ended up having to pay for an emergency trip to the hospital because somebody was too lazy to wash the cat hair off their clothes. I'm severely allergic to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 351

You deserved it 8 968

Same thing different taste

Chubby life

TMI Mom

Creepy but funny

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