Miscellaneous: Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if...

By Alexis - 26/08/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 3 234

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 241

You deserved it 3 050

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 183

By tahneee - 31/05/2019 20:00

Today, I went to a function with my dad for a football team. Handing my dad the camera, I finally worked up the courage to ask for a photo with my favourite player. The guy was looking at my boobs in all three photo attempts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 231

Supportive

By arch maester shavayalsharashion - 26/07/2015 17:29 - United Kingdom - Surbiton

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 815

You deserved it 2 935

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 383

You deserved it 6 677

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 704

You deserved it 62 346

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 151

By kaitylait - 19/08/2011 00:59 - Canada

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 536

You deserved it 11 128

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 444

You deserved it 3 816

By lizard - 24/01/2009 19:47 - Canada

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 196

You deserved it 2 141

Fx13mz 7

Saturday 27 August 2011 6:59

So go ahead and do it already. He said it's okay.

allinicolesmh 0

Saturday 27 August 2011 7:01

*Dad watching lfl* "That's my girl, I raised her good!"

Comments

strawberrydreams 18

Saturday 27 August 2011 7:57

Lol, Dads say the darnest things!

kei1108 13

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:05

EWW... Lingerie football is dumb and creepy... Especially when it's coming from your dad!!! Gross!!!!!

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 28 August 2011 6:42

Kinda the point of the FML......

mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:09

GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!

iparker97 0

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:10

If you do plz crush Rob Ford's niece

mdizzl 6

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:14

umm, I'd be a little concerned if I were you...

patacus 14

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:24

Just your average Virginia family

Honeydip804 21

Tuesday 12 May 2015 21:56

No its not!

fuckmylife2323 0

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:28

I'd leave te house for awhile thats ******* scary

vampirekisses91 0

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:40

I don't see how this is a FML I mean, they obviously think your pretty. Take it as a compliment!

thepaisan532 3

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:58

Leave the bastards house.

Sketchisan 27

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:58

That's just plain creepy. I would definitely invest in a lock for my bedroom door on Dad's drunk days.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 980

The Top

Today, someone I've been crushing on admitted they're attracted to me too. We hooked up, but now she says we can't date because she is already dating someone. I feel terrible for them, and now know she isn't the kind of person I thought she was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 793

You deserved it 487

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 3 586

Today, I was pulling in to my work parking lot gate, accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake pedal, ran through the gate arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 714

You deserved it 1 299

Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt… into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 005

You deserved it 78 219

Today, I told my husband that after fifteen years of marriage, I wanted a divorce. His first question was whether or not he could still go on the family cruise my parents are paying for in May. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 100

You deserved it 10 500

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 575

You deserved it 4 213