By thundermoo - 27/05/2016 16:13 - United States - Decatur

Spicy
Today, my dad mentioned how quickly I go through batteries. I've been single and celibate since I moved back home 11 months ago. He doesn't realize this and keeps asking about "missing" batteries. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 476
You deserved it 4 476

thundermoo tells us more.

thundermoo 16

OP here, I don't buy my own because I don't have a job. I'm a full time college student and I provide at-home care for my father, who can barely walk due to peripheral vascular disease.

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Top comments

Dusty_Cups 30

Why aren't you buying your own batteries? If you want things to be discrete then you have to take the first step in making it that way. Also, try re-chargeable batteries if it's really that big of a problem.

390 2
1991stealth 21

Buy some batteries so he won't catch on.

227 2

Comments

trucker2 33

Empties every game controller...... Battery jackpot :D

8 1
IorvethTheXolo 8

Then buy your own stash of batteries. It's really not that difficult. If you have your own stash of batteries, he'll never know how quickly you go through them.

27 0
Iris_River 15

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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7 30
Aethereal 14

It is being unmatried and/or sexually abstinent, usually voluntarily, often due to religious reason. Toys/masturbation aren't explicitly mentioned in the general definition. Depends whether you consider those breaking sexual abstinence.

12 2
Jaelkus 28

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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5 22
kavank 9

How else is she supposed to say it? I havent been getting deep dicked lately so I vibrator slam my twat for hours til the batteries die?

47 0
fakedsincerity 32

"man simulator" lmao. you say it like lesbians don't use vibrators/******/whatever.

15 3
amnesiaspacecat 5

just because a lesbian uses it doesnt mean it doesn't look like a dick

2 5
amsterdamgirl 20

that's actually not true you have a lot of different shaped vibrators. some have more of an egg shape others are more abstract/organic. doesn't have to look like dick.

13 2
fakedsincerity 32

^ yep. if you think all female sex toys are made to resemble or simulate a penis you are waaaay off, #59.

11 2
DoomedGemini 37

Not all sex toys get inserted even.. I actually mostly hear about clit stimulators rather than ******. And I won't even go into the non-penis shaped ******.

5 0
Sk8brdmenace 17

Do your thing girlie

4 4
laden_swallow09 34

Preferably at her own expense and not her father's.

9 0
tygerarmy 35

Not to be nit picky, but celibate is abstaining from all sex. OP to quote Billy Idol, you're just dancing with yourself.

28 7