Miscellaneous: Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into... - FML

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 945

You deserved it 1 753

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 159

You deserved it 3 831

By squirts - 27/11/2013 04:42

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 209

You deserved it 5 323

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 542

You deserved it 2 154

Believe her next time

By KICKxASSxNINJA - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Fresno

Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 194

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 166

That homely smell

By Bottomless_Pit_for_the_NOMS - 23/09/2020 10:01 - United States - Miami

Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 349

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 300

You deserved it 8 640

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 174

You deserved it 54 744

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 213

You deserved it 6 235

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 288

You deserved it 7 524

Next

Top comments

whatarethisss 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:15

Next time, don't forget to pee around your fridge to mark your territory.

kenyrabit 25

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:17

Never heard of the Dutch-fridge before! :D

Comments

ThuNDeY 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:14

Rip in peace

GeorgeCarter95 16

Sunday 13 March 2016 1:31

Rest in peace in peace?

icekingz 7

Sunday 13 March 2016 3:06

It's a meme

SumDonkus 6

Sunday 13 March 2016 10:10

"it's a meme you dip"

ADOG2645 17

Monday 14 March 2016 3:24

Rip in pepperonies

whatarethisss 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:15

Next time, don't forget to pee around your fridge to mark your territory.

firefighter925 18

Sunday 13 March 2016 5:04

That's a good idea, I'm gonna go pee on my girlfriend

whatarethisss 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 6:04

Kinky! Lmao.

isuckwithnames 22

Sunday 13 March 2016 12:14

R. Kelly?

HoboMeth 33

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:16

kick him out

TheClassicMan848 11

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:17

You're dad is either really funny, or an absolute asshole

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 13 March 2016 3:02

I'm going to go with asshole, just because that's NASTY!

isuckwithnames 22

Sunday 13 March 2016 12:21

Why? We can assume that he's wearing pants and underwear, since the wording of the post implies OP lives away from their parents and that is the social norm for developed countries. The fart would have to penetrate the underwear and pants so nothing is getting in there.

kenyrabit 25

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:17

Never heard of the Dutch-fridge before! :D

WCARlover 34

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:17

Well if you were planning on having beans for dinner he's just taking out the middleman

Scarylizard1798 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:21

Dad jokes gone too far

JpTheGreat23 19

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:23

Delicious

FelicityWishes 32

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:34

Free dinner :D

weatherxveins 29

Sunday 13 March 2016 0:40

How considerate of him to provide for his family.

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The Top

Today, my teacher said that since I was sick last week, I had to do all the work that the others had done, which I didn't know about because no one said anything about it. So now I've got to watch a total of 5 hours-worth of documentaries, and write analysis of them. Before tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 185

Today, a waiter fucked up by bringing a dessert with engagement ring to our table. My girlfriend started crying and saying, "Yes Yes Yes!" The look on her face when she had to take the ring off and give it back to the other woman… She’s now giving me the silent treatment, even though I did nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 85

The Top

He's trying so hard too...

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 56

Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 201

You deserved it 3 284

Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 717

You deserved it 28 581

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 258

You deserved it 13 758

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 835

You deserved it 3 048

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 560

You deserved it 5 079