Miscellaneous: Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot...

By Anonymous - 26/08/2011 04:55 - United States

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 656

You deserved it 8 646

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Cantswim - 20/05/2009 15:45 - United States

Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 573

You deserved it 9 976

By anonymous - 10/06/2009 22:50 - United States

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 731

You deserved it 4 676

Baywatch music starts

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 622

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 12:03

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 204

In my day…

By thanks dad - 01/08/2020 02:02

Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 229

You deserved it 285

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 350

You deserved it 512

Little perv

By cplaner - 04/02/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 5 238

By AwkwardPotato - 02/07/2013 02:37 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 934

You deserved it 3 758

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 93

Catcherchick94 0

Friday 26 August 2011 12:04

Get yourself some arm floaties! Or next time don't try to practice swimming in a public pool.

marinus_fml 19

Friday 26 August 2011 12:17

Totally reminds me of Dr.Sheldon Cooper who taught himself to swim with the Internet and practiced on the floor in his apartment.

Comments

WhackTheJackal 22

Sunday 5 October 2014 11:03

Learning to swim at 20? That's ******* weird.

thatfangirl 8

Wednesday 10 December 2014 5:40

why did you wait so long to learn how to swim?

dhpk 14

Sunday 16 August 2015 16:47

If you're twenty and can't swim you might need to rethink your life

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Haircut Miscellaneous Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Technology Mental health

The Top

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 120

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 551

You deserved it 49 634

The Top

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 224

You deserved it 146 906

Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 011

You deserved it 58 994

Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 1 203

Today, 5 years after the fact, I finally realized how dense I am for not understanding that when she undresses in front of you and poses naked, she isn't expecting you to be a gentleman and turn around and leave the room. It's haunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 872

You deserved it 3 388

Today, I was late for an interview. Going into the elevator, a man ran up to the doors but since I was late, I pressed the "close" button. When I arrived to the office, the secretary asked me to wait. The boss walked in to interview me. The man whose face I closed the elevator doors on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 589

You deserved it 59 652

Today, I got my period two days early. I have really bad cramps and my lower back hurts pretty bad. I'm getting over having bronchitis, I wanted to relax, but instead my mother had the bright idea to walk around the mall for two hours. We sat in traffic for another hour before we made it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 159